


The Search for Power

by murmeltearding



Series: Magic [2]
Category: Kate Daniels - Ilona Andrews, Supernatural
Genre: Blood, Blood Magic, Blood and Gore, Cats, Cheating, Dreams, F/M, Face Punching, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Foreshadowing, Healing, Jealousy, Language, Magic, Magic-Users, Magical Tattoos, Past Relationship(s), Poison, Prophecy, Shapeshifting, Snowball Fight, Spiderwebs, Teasing, Turtles, awful truths, chanting, graphic description murder, magic animals, magic cats, mention of rape, puking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-08-27 20:19:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16709347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murmeltearding/pseuds/murmeltearding
Summary: After what happened to Ira in Magic is Family Business, she decides she needs to get stronger. A dream reminds her of an old friend and as chance would have it, she meets him the next day.The two former lovers decide to work together.Sam is not amused.





	1. The search begins

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, Sam and Dean will probably have only small side roles in this, but I wrote them into the first part of the series and I can't simply remove them at this point.  
> My apologies for that.

_I am bored._  
_I am going outside, jumping down the stairs one by one._  
_Roman follows me, like he always does._  
_I don't like him. He's mean and always pulls my hair and kicks my shins._  
_Grandma and aunt Evdokia are inside. I can hear them speak, but don’t understand their words._  
_I’m walking towards the big willow tree in the center of Centenniel park. Its low hanging branches are the perfekt hiding spot._  
_Roman momentarily vanishes, but I know he is somewhere around._  
_I try to climb up on the lowest branch of the tree._  
_Leaves are rustling behind me._  
_“Got you!” Roman shouts and I can feel him come up behind me._  
_He pulls my ponytail and I slip on the dark bark of the tree._  
_I fall flat on my back and the air is pushed out of my lungs with a huff._  
_I lie on the ground and he bends over me. I look at his upside down face._  
_He kneels down. His knees touch the top of my head and he kisses me on the lips. Then he quickly jumps to his feet and runs away, laughing._  
_I jump to my feet as well and run after him._  
_He tries to hide, but I see where he runs._  
_He believes I can’t see him in the small, half rotten shed._  
_“Eat dust!” I say and grab what I believe to be dust from the ground. I shove it in his mouth._  
_Too late I realize it’s not only dust. Spiderwebs are sticking to my fingers and there’s probably a bunch of spiders too._  
_Before he can react, I run away._  
_I hear him scream and I laugh and laugh…_  
_****_

A few hours later, I stopped in front of Centenniel Park.  
Magic did weird stuff to plants. They grew faster and stronger than before and Centenniel Park was about twice the size it used to be… or so people were saying. I was too young to remember the Park before the first wave.  
A huge wall of green greeted me, as I stepped off my bike and pushed it along. The path leading into the Park was overgrown with vines and roots were poking through the dirt in irregular intervals. It felt more like a jungle than a Park in the middle of a city. Not many people dared entering the Park these days. It belonged to the Witches and they protected what was theirs.  
The Witch Oracle sat in the very center of the Park, but I wasn’t headed there.  
Evdokia was part of the Witch Oracle, they called her the Mother, but to me, she was aunt Evdokia, even though we weren’t related by blood. She had invited me to her home today. A private matter, rather than a business one, even though I was carrying a couple of bags of herbs and a few demon scales she had asked me to bring. Okay, so my visit was mostly private. Aunt Evdokia had sent me a message telling me she wanted to know firsthand what had really happened. Obviously, I was the talk of town.

I walked around a bend and through a particularly overgrown part of the path, and suddenly, her little cottage was there. When I was still a child, she had told me that people who had no Magic in them wouldn’t be able to even see her house. Every time I came here, I still felt the proud gazes of her and my Grandma when I had described to them every detail of the house as I saw it, from the dark brown wooden paneling to the vines and flowers overgrowing it up to the patches of orange magic moss on the shingled roof.  
I leaned my bike against the porch, not bothering to lock it, since Magic was up. Noone would come into the Park to steal my bike and if they tried, the black painted glyphs would show them not to touch what was mine.  
“Come in, dear!” I heard aunt Evdokia’s voice from inside, before I could even knock.  
As soon as I opened the door, the smell of freshly baked bread hit me and my tummy grumbled in reply.  
“Coffee is almost ready, but you’re early, as always.” she said and wiped her hands on her flowery apron, as she came towards me.  
It bordered on ridiculous how different she looked at home versus when she was acting as part of the Oracle. Here she was a thickset old lady with ashtray glasses and white hair bound into a bun atop her head. There she was an intimidating witch who wielded all the power. But this here was how I knew her. The friendly grandma type that would make you stuff your belly until you could eat no more and then pack you some lunch, in case you got hungry on your way home.  
“I’m sorry, I just always remember the one time I was late and I get so scared, I get here early.” I explained, laughing.  
“Oh come here, my dear girl, do! It’s been too long!” she pulled me into a hug. “Oh look at your hand! What an awful thing to happen to you!” she said, after letting me go, taking a step back to look me up and down. “Sit. Drink.” she ordered.  
I sat and she placed a mug of hot, steaming cocoa in front of me. I knew it would be so sweet, it would probably make my teeth rot, but chocolate was precious and I wasn't about to refuse the sugary goodness.  
I took a sip and she continued talking. “Roman is on his way here as well. When he heard you were visiting me today, he insisted on coming too.”  
“Really?” I asked, almost choking on my cocoa. “Funny thing! I dreamed about him last night.” I said, after catching my breath again.  
“Ha! I always knew I was the man of your dreams.” Roman suddenly said from the doorway. I hadn’t heard him enter.  
I got up to greet him. It was at least 10 years, since the last time I saw him. He had aged quite nicely. His hair was shaved at the sides and long in the middle. Like it had always been. Like a horse’s mane.  
“Still rocking that weird horsey hairdo, I see…” I chuckled, and looked him up and down, immediately falling back into our old banter.  
“The hair isn’t the only thing that’s horselike about me.” he winked.  
I rolled my eyes and grinned. “Yea, sure… keep telling yourself that.”  
“Please, Children, leave that for when you’re alone. An old woman doesn't need to know everything about her son.” aunt Evdokia said, gently slapping Roman’s arm.  
He was quite a bit taller than her. Lean, bordering on thin, but his robes managed to hide that well. Black robes, black hair, dark eyes. In contrast, his skin looked even paler than I remembered.  
“What’s up with the dress? Did you put that on for me?” I teased.  
“You wish… I finally joined the family path and I’m serving Chernobog now. The robes come with the job.” he explained with a playful twinkle in his eye, but still managed to look quite proud. He straightened up and rapped his black staff on the floor before he continued talking. “What about you? I mean, the stories people tell these days…” he looked me up and down and his gaze caught at my left hand.  
I still had a bandage wrapped around it, even though once Magic had been up again, I had managed to chant the wound closed easily. The finger was gone though and I refused to think about where to exactly.  
“Yea, whatever you heard is probably grossly exaggerated.” I said, awkwardly trying to hide my hand in the pocket on my knit jacket.  
“People are telling you used the Amulet of Kabedaya to banish the King of Hell from Earth.” Roman said.  
“Yea, see, exaggerated.” I murmured, sitting down again, not meeting their expectant gazes.  
“What happened then?” Evdokia put the loaf of freshly baked bread and homemade cinnamon butter on the table and sat down opposite me. Roman sat down next to me, after he poured himself some coffee.  
I told them what had really happened and they seemed disappointed.  
“As I said, I’m no big hero, just managed to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.” I finished my story.  
“Are you kidding me? You held the Amulet of Kabedayah!” Roman said. “Oh to touch an item like that only once…” he trailed off, sounding all dreamy.  
“Actually… I also used it, it almost killed me…” I told them, leaving out the part about how I had stolen Crowley's power at that time. “My Magic isn’t as strong as I’d like it to be.”  
“Don’t fuss, dear.” aunt Evdokia said, putting her wrinkled hand on my maimed one. “Your Magic is exactly as strong as it’s supposed to be. Your grandmother would be so proud of you!”  
“You think?” I asked. Thinking of my grandmother still hurt. She had only been dead for little more than a year now.  
“What did you dream about anyways?” Roman asked, sensing the mood drop and trying to lighten it up again.  
A slow smile spread across my face. “Do you remember that time I made you eat spider webs?”  
“Which time?” he asked, seeming annoyed, but also slightly amused.  
“The first time… in the shed that we burned down a few years later.” I laughed.  
“We also did some other nice things in that shed.” His eyes glazed over at the thought.  
I smirked, thinking back on it. “True…”  
“You were such a cute couple.” aunt Evdokia said, getting our drift.  
“We were not! Ira cheated on me like every other day!” Roman said, rolling his eyes.  
“But of course she did! She was a beautiful girl! Still is!” she said, patting my hand once more.  
“This beauty is a blessing as well as a curse, I’m telling you!” I laughed. “I’m sorry about it still. I really am, even though I cheated only once… or twice…” I looked at the ceiling, trying to figure out the exact number.  
“Yea, in the three weeks we were together. Don’t mention it though. That was years ago. We're both different people now! And if push came to shove, I wouldn’t mind a repeat encounter, just saying.” he poked me with his elbow.  
“Sorry, I got a boyfriend.”  
“Yea, so you did back then…”

An hour later, Roman and I were leaving. I had a new dark brown knit jacket, a fresh loaf of bread and a bunch of dried magic moss in my bag. The moss grew on Unicorn too, but the kind from Centenniel Park was less polluted and therefore a lot stronger.  
Roman eyed my bike disapprovingly, as he took his horse’s reigns.  
“Don’t look at me like that! It’s reliable and I don’t have to feed it… or clean up after it, for that matter.” I teased, looking at the heap of shit the horse had left.  
It was huge and black and looked scary.  
“True… but it’s much more comfortable.”  
We walked toward the exit of the park next to each other. It was nice talking to him. Easy.  
“So… want me to walk you home?” he asked, once we were on the street again.  
“Umm… sure! If you don’t have any priest-y stuff to do!” I grinned at him.  
“Stop teasing, woman and tell me where you live!”  
“I got a small store on Unicorn Lane. ‘Spells, Items and Crap’” I said proudly. “My flat is right above it.”  
“On Unicorn? That’s impressive!” he nodded appreciatively, as we turned to the right.

Half an hour later, I unlocked the door to my store. We had stopped at a small market stall on our way as I had promised Kali. She was waiting inside excitedly and almost tripped me, as I went upstairs.  
“I’ll be right back!” I said to Roman. He seemed enthralled with what I had to sell and I let him have a look around while feeding the cats upstairs. I hoped to bribe Kali into telling me what had happened to my finger, with the big piece of Salmon I had bought.

“How much do you want for that?” Roman asked when I came downstairs again. He was holding a small wooden figurine of a squirrel in his hand.  
“Huh? You can take it. It’s crap… I got like six more of those in the back.” I walked to the counter out of habit. “I can wrap it up for you, if you want it, but it really isn’t worth the hassle.”  
“Come on I don’t want freebies, just because you think I’m pretty. Name your price!” he insisted, walking to the counter and putting the figurine down between us.  
“Okay. But I won’t take money from you! I want information instead.”  
“Information…” he stroked his chin with thumb and forefinger. “Continue!”  
“I was wondering… you’re quite a bit more powerful compared to last time we met. How did you do it? I mean… we were way beyond puberty. My powers have stayed mostly the same since then.”  
“That’s what you want to know?” he laughed. “Well, devoting your life to serve a god will do that to you.” he chuckled.  
Made sense. “But isn’t Chernobog like… the bad guy? Why did you choose him out of all the gods?”  
“He’s not the bad guy. It’s all about balance. Life and death, light and dark. My cousin serves Belobog, as did his father. They’re the white part of the family, we’re the black. Balance. See?” he explained.  
“Okay, but how would someone who doesn’t belong to a long line of priests go about becoming more powerful?” I asked. Since I didn’t really have any formal training, I had to rely on his knowledge in that matter.  
“There’s a couple of ways, I’d say. It really depends on how far one would be willing to go. Why do you ask anyways? You always seemed so happy with what you could do.”  
I shot him a look and held up my 4 fingered hand.  
“Okay, understood.” he nodded in agreement.  
“So… do you think you can help me?”  
“How about we start by strengthening those wards of yours a bit and then we’ll see where we go from there?”  
“What’s wrong with my wards?” I asked, looking around.  
“Nothing’s wrong with them. But adding a second or third layer might keep… certain people… or demons for that matter, out.”

Turned out I had all of the ingredients he wanted in my pantry. He was impressed with my stock, but not with my tools. We almost destroyed my mortar grinding up a small piece of quartz. I told him it was idiotic to do such a thing, but Roman had insisted it had to be ground to a coarse powder.  
Kali was watching us from her usual spot, sometimes making noises, so we wouldn’t forget she was there.  
Once Roman was satisfied with the grain size of the stone, he added the herbs to the mortar and set everything on fire, while chanting some unintelligible Russian words. I spoke little to no Russian, despite both Roman and aunt Evdokia trying to teach me since early childhood.  
“Give me your hand.” he ordered, once he was done with his spell.  
I held my right hand to him and he grabbed it and cut my finger.  
“Oww! How about a little warning next time?” I protested, pulling my hand back, sticking my finger in my mouth.  
“And where would the fun in that be?” he chuckled, “Come on, we need some more blood.” He tried grabbing my hand again, but I shoved him to the side with my hip and held my bleeding finger over the mortar. “Ass.” I whispered, as I watched my blood drop into the ashes.  
When I decided it was enough, I pulled my finger away again and chanted the wound closed with a few words.  
Roman stirred the ashes and blood into a coarse paste with a small wooden spoon and seemed satisfied.  
“Alright. And now, to apply it.” he took the mortar and gave me thumbs up with his free hand.

He drew a glyph on a piece of paper. “Draw this with the paste. I can’t do it for you or the ward will be keyed to me.” he said, holding the paper out to me.  
I had never seen the shape before and traced it with my finger a few times to get the hang of it.  
“Put one here.” he said, indicating a spot close to the floor right next to the entry door.  
I squatted down and took some of the crumbly paste in between two fingers.  
“No, not like that.” he protested as soon as I had formed the first line. “Here, I’ll help you.” He took my hand and led it, shaping the glyph with my fingers. He was standing awfully close to me and not for the first time that day I had to fight hard, not to simply lean into his body.  
My heart raced and I hesitated, before letting him take over. I felt the warmth radiate from his body and my breath quickened.  
He smelled different than he used to. More mature and musky, and with something edgy and smoky in it, but I could still smell his unmistakable Roman smell underneath it all.  
I felt so incredibly safe with him. Safer than I had felt in a weeks.  
When he got to his feet, I put the mortar on the floor and stood up with him. Turning around brought my face close to his and the urge to lean against his chest got almost unbearable. I wanted to hold on to him so so badly, yet I didn’t touch him.  
I nervously licked my lips, looking up at him, my chest was heaving with every breath and my heart beat so loud I could barely hear anything else.  
I reached out for him, but stopped myself right before I touched him.  
And in that exact moment, the front door opened and in wandered Sam, my boyfriend. And he didn’t seem happy. Not at all.


	2. Ira gets Presents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam knows Ira is down and tries to cheer her up with some chocolates and nice Sex (no smut, sorry!)  
> Roman meanwhile tries to cheer her up with some more magic oriented presents.  
> Lots of dumb jokes again and a new enemy makes an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts right where the last one ended, so the start probably wont make much sense if you didn't read the last part.

“Hi, Sam Winchester, the Boyfriend.” Sam said and despite his size managed to move in between the two of us elegantly.  
He was about a head taller than Roman and the latter had to look up at him, as they shook hands.  
Roman cleared his throat before speaking. “Roman Semianovich, childhood friend.” he introduced himself.  
Wow, that was awkward. Thankfully Boy and Kali chose that moment to come running down the stairs and dash through our legs and out the door.  
“What are you idiots doing?” I shouted, shoving the guys aside and running after my cats. Outside was dangerous for them. Magic was up and weird things tended to happen on Unicorn during Magic.  
Thankfully, the two of them didn’t run far. They sped to the left and through the narrow walkway between my house and the next one.  
I followed them and stopped when they stopped… at the trashcans behind my house, where a raccoon, tailless and about twice as big as a normal one, but still most definitely a raccoon, sat, digging through my trash.  
Both, Kali and Boy built themselves up to maximum size, and hissed at the intruder. They were no match for him and he knew it, but I appreciated them trying anyways. The Raccoon looked at me for a second from his black button eyes but then decided I wasn’t a danger either and continued digging.  
“What are you doing?” I asked the cats again. Boy ignored me, but Kali came running to me and shoved me forward with her head against my ankles before moving back towards the raccoon with a decided hiss.

When Sam and Roman came out on the back alley as well, the Raccoon seemed to slowly find it a bit too crowded. He jumped down to the ground where he proceeded to shift into a mouse and then scuttled in between the trashcans and vanished. I blinked a few times, flabbergasted.  
Boy seemed unfazed about the shapeshifting and tried to squeeze in between the trashcans to catch the Mouse-coon - Raccamouse? without realizing he was too big to fit. He really wasn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer.  
“Please tell me you saw that too.” I said to Sam and Roman, after pulling Boy out and lifting him up on my arms.   
“I did…” Sam said slowly, seeming confused. “But… what was it?”  
“That… was someone’s familiar. Someone is spying on you.” Roman walked past me, gently brushing my arm with his fingers, and inspected the spot where the mouse had vanished.  
“Come on, let’s finish that ward, before Magic falls. I don’t think it’s going to come back soon.” Roman said when he had made sure the spy was gone. He pushed past Sam and ushered me back through the walkway with his hands on my shoulders.

We quickly drew four more of the glyphs on the walls under Sam’s watchful gaze. I felt a tension in my shoulders leave that I hadn’t even realized had been there, when the ward snapped in place. Roman and I went outside and admired our handiwork. Fresh wards were visible as a kind of shimmer in the air for a few days before they properly settled. It looked a bit as if my whole house up to the roof was engulfed in a house shaped soap bubble.  
Sam watched us looking at the ward. He didn’t have any Magic, so to him it probably looked as if we were staring at the house in amazement.  
Satisfied for now, Roman claimed he had somewhere else to be and hugged me goodbye soon after, whispering in my ear he’d be back the next day.

An hour later, I sat on the Sofa, a can of steaming chamomile tea in my hands with Boy purring next to me.  
“Sorry for calling you idiots.” I whispered, letting my fingers glide through his soft fur.  
Magic had fallen a few minutes after Roman had left and it was slowly getting dark outside.  
“I can’t help but feel like I interrupted something back there.” Sam said, looking up from the newspaper he was reading, sitting at the kitchen table.  
“Yea, us making a second ward.” I said, refusing to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t come in at that exact moment.  
“You sure it was just that?”  
I nodded.  
“Because I bought you something.” he got up from his chair and quickly went downstairs only to come back up half a minute later.  
“Presents? For me?” I asked and a grin spread on my face. I loved getting presents.  
He held a small paper bag in his hand and gave it to me. Inside were four of the most exquisite chocolates I had ever seen. They must have cost a fortune. Importing stuff from overseas was quite hard with airplanes falling out of the skies and mysterious creatures roaming the seas.  
I grinned at him as I took one of them out of the bag and put it in my mouth, letting it melt on my tongue. I closed my eyes and leaned against him, enjoying the taste.  
“Thank you.” I whispered and kissed him on the cheek. “I’d offer you one as well, but there’s only three left.”  
“I couldn’t take one of them away from you.” Sam laughed and kissed me on the forehead.

We made love that night. Sam was tender and caring, yet full of passion. Everything a woman could wish for. Still, my mind kept wandering to someone else.  
I saw someone else's dark brown eyes, whenever I closed mine.  
I felt awful, when Sam pulled me close, after.

  
The next morning, he was already gone when I woke up. He was working an awful lot these days. Like every year, all kinds of weird creatures crawled out of their hidey holes once summer was over and the nights grew longer.  
Yawning, I got up and slipped my bathrobe on, rubbing my head, as I made my way to the kitchen. There was a piece of paper on the table.  
" _Please be careful today. Call me if anything happens. Love you, Sam_ " was written in his neat hand.  
Ugh. Right. Someone was probably spying on me right now. "Way to go Sam, please remind me of the new shitty things in my life before I even had coffee. Thank you." I murmured and balled up the note before throwing it at Boy who was sitting on the ground, watching me. Uneasily I looked towards the big window in the living room, wishing for some curtains. On the opposite side of the street was another house, pretty similar to mine. I had met my neighbor, an old, bald man with no teeth in his mouth a few times. He couldn't possibly be a spy... or could he?  
Boy pawed at the balled up paper a few times, before losing interest and walking towards me, demanding cuddles and effectively pulling me from my thoughts.  
I cut myself a piece of the bread Evdokia had given me yesterday and nibbled on it. It was delicious, but I couldn't really appreciate it. Sleep had refused to come until long after Sam had fallen asleep next to me. I felt like something had eaten and spit me out again. Ugh.  
Tech was up, so I stepped into the shower, thanking the gods for small victories. They didn't seem to be on my side though. Tech fell about five seconds into my shower.  
With the boiler out, the water ran cold in half a minute and I stepped out of it, shivering. My hair stuck to my skin in unkempt, half wet strands.  
"Are you fucking shitting me?" I cursed, punching the wall in anger and then cursing some more, because I had hurt my knuckles. And as if the day hadn't started shitty enough, I heard someone knock on the door downstairs. Since I had no official opening hours, I didn’t really have a right to complain, but that didn't keep me from whining about it today.  
I padded halfway down the stairs on bare feet and stuck my head over the railing to see who was waiting outside.  
It was Roman. And I looked like shit. Great. Just Fucking great.  
Anyone else I would have sent away, but I couldn't really do that to him since he had told me he'd come today. He looked exactly the same as yesterday, black robes, black boots and all.  
I went to unlock the door, looking like shit, wearing nothing but a damp towel. His eyes lit up at the sight, but I was in no mood for his games.  
I was in no mood for anyone's games actually, so I locked back up after letting him in.  
"You look... nice and rested." he said, immediately catching on to my bad mood.  
I said nothing, but turned around and walked back upstairs.  
He followed me. "Loving the view." he joked.  
I still didn't answer him, but pointed him at the kitchen table. "Sit." I ordered and went into the bathroom to chant the boiler to life.  
Roman watched me for a while through the open door but finally got up and walked towards me. "Let me do that for you, it almost hurts, seeing you struggle like that." he said.  
I grimaced and shook my head at him. What was his problem?  
He knocked on the tiled floor with his staff, said a few words in Russian, knocked at the boiler with the other end of his staff and just like that, the Boiler came to life.  
"Thank you" I murmured after testing the water with my hand. "Give me 10 minutes and I'll be right with you." Then I pushed him out of the bathroom and closed the door in his face.

When I came back out, Kali was sitting on Roman's lap. He was scratching her chin and she was purring at him like crazy.  
"So, tell me about that Sam guy." he said to her.  
Kali stopped purring and rolled her eyes at him, making no secret of her dislike of Sam. I laughed and went into the bedroom to get dressed. The hot shower had greatly improved my mood even though I was still tired.  
I listened to the two of them while making coffee before joining them at the table. They had even gotten one of Kali’s picture books. Roman was the first guy Kali was willing to talk to. Interesting.  
Roman’s gaze went to my hand, as I put a cup of coffee in front of him. I hadn’t yet wrapped it up after my shower. The stump ended before the first joint, effectively rendering the finger useless. It was fully healed by now but I still chose to put a bandage on it most of the time because I couldn't bear looking at it.  
"I could have saved that if you had found the finger, you know." he murmured, taking my hand in his and examining it.  
"Yea, I could have saved it myself, but I was kinda occupied otherwise." I rolled my eyes at him, but didn't pull my hand away. It was nice, having him touch me.  
He carefully traced the lines of the tattoos up my hands and arms. We didn't speak for a while, I just watched him. Kali had made herself comfortable on his lap and closed her eyes.  
"I got something for you!" he suddenly said, disturbing the comfortable silence.  
"Huh? How do I deserve that?”  
He took a small piece of black stone, about as thick as my thumb and twice as long, from his pocket, careful not to disturb Kali, but not completely succeeding.  
"What is it?" I asked, taking it from him, eyeing it from every angle. It shimmered vaguely blueish and I could make out faint traces of glyphs etched into its smooth surface.  
"You use it for stirring stuff together. Makes it more potent. I noticed yesterday you didn't have a proper one." he explained.  
"I never knew I needed one." I looked at the thing skeptically.  
"You could probably fill books with what you don't know." he teased.  
“Well, you know… while one of us was going to school, getting an education, the other one had to look after their sick grandmother and had to make sure there was food on the table…” I scolded.  
“Seriously? I never knew…” He seemed uncomfortable.  
“Nah... I'm just making fun of you. I was sleeping around and doing a lot of drugs, but still… Don’t be so mean to me! I’m a badass healer, with or without your stirry thingy and book smarts!” I pointed the stone thing at him.  
“You’re right, I’m sorry. But actually, I brought you one more thing, so I feel like I should be allowed to tease you some more just to make us equal.”  
“So you’re gonna try to buy me… nice!” I said, nodding appreciatively. “And what are you gonna try to buy me with?”  
He grabbed something from the pocket on his robes again. How much space was in there anyways? Actually, those robes looked crazy comfortable. I’d probably have to steal one from him at one point.  
“What are you thinking about?” he asked, smirking. “I don’t like that look on your face.”  
“Oh, nothing… don’t worry!” I took the little sachet he was holding out to me. It was surprisingly light. The contents looked blackish and powdery. It had a strange aura around it, almost like the flicker of air around a fire when it was cold out. “What is it?”  
“It's ashes from the northernmost volcano in Russia.”  
“Umm… wow, thank you!” I gave him a sarcastic thumbs up.  
“That’s not all that is to it, dummy! It’s known for unlocking people’s full magic potential. I thought that was a good way to start on your epic quest for power, but if you don’t want it, I can take it back.” He made a grab for the small pouch, but I pulled it away, already liking where he was going.  
“No backsies!” I said. “It’s my dirt now… and I will cherish it always.” I held the pouch close to my heart and grinned at him.  
“Good, because I made an appointment for you tomorrow.”  
“What kind of appointment?” I was confused.  
“Well… the way your arms look makes me think you’re not opposed to getting tattoos.” he continued, mysteriously.  
I laughed. “Nope, I’ve actually been thinking of getting a few more.”  
“Good, good! You’re not on your period, right? You used to be much more bitchy on your period, as far as I remember.”  
I blinked at him before answering. “I don’t know why that would be any of your business, but no, I’m not. And I can be more bitchy, if you want me to be. Let me just find some spider webs.” I started looking around.  
“Please don’t!” he looked around as well, nervously. “I was just asking because this won’t work if you are. You need to be pure for it to work and Chernobog says a woman is impure while she’s bleeding. I mean… I would take you pure or impure, you know that… but Chernobog is kinda choosy...”  
"So what, if I get that tattoo, I'll somehow belong to Chernobog too? Like a priestess or something?"  
"There's no priestesses with Chernobog... but it will place you under his protection. And you can't worship any other gods. But I didn't figure you a big worshipper anyways, soo..." he trailed off.  
I laughed. "True. But anyways... Does that mean you have a tattoo as well?"  
"... Yes." A slow smirk appeared on his face.  
"Can I see it?" I matched his smile.  
"No."  
"What? Why not?" I shot him a glare.  
"A man has to retain some mystery. Drives women wild!" he chuckled.  
Kali looked up at his statement and sneezed before jumping off and walking to her litterbox, making pretty clear what she was thinking.  
"I agree with her, in case you were wondering." I said.  
"Yea, I figured as much." He stood up slowly, trying to brush off Kali's white hairs from his black robes. "Well, seeing you was quite a pleasure, but I have to leave now." He quickly scribbled something barely legible on a crumpled up piece of paper and handed it to me. "This is the address of the tattoo place. Be there tomorrow around lunchtime and ask for Galina. Don't forget to bring the ashes and call me once you're done. You should start feeling different pretty quickly."  
He hugged me goodbye, holding on a bit longer than strictly necessary, and then left.  
I looked at the piece of paper and turned it around. He had written on the back of Sam’s note.


	3. Ira gets inked and (not entirely unrelated) Drama ensues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ira unlocks her powers, which might not be entirely good for everyone around her.   
> Mia is the first to notice.   
> Sam finds out a painful truth.

The next day around midday, I found myself in front of a nondescript house in the bad part of town. A light drizzle fell from the overcast sky and the moisture in the air made my hair all curly, despite wearing the hood of my coat. My mood matched the weather. Gloomy, dark.  
I looked at the piece of paper Roman had written the address on again and squinted at it. It was wet from the rain and reading his bad handwriting was even harder than before, but I was pretty sure I had the right house.  
I looked up at it once more. It was a standard issue two-story house with stone walls and small windows. The tiny garden in front of it was overgrown with weeds, but the first frosty nights had killed off most of them and the wet leaves hung from the stalks limply.  
To my right, something scuttled through the unkempt shrubs. I thought it looked like a raccoon, but that was probably just my imagination, right?  
I tried shaking off the thought, as I walked up the three steps and knocked on the door.  
Thankfully, the door opened almost immediately. In front of me stood a gorgeous tall woman, tattoos on every visible part of her skin, lush lips and dark brown hair. Aviator sunglasses hid her eyes despite the gloomy weather. Her simple outfit, white t-shirt, dark jeans, looked like it came straight from a fashion magazine despite its simplicity.  
"Umm... Galina?" I asked, clearing my throat.  
"Ah yes, dear! You must be Ira. Roman told me you'd come today. Do come in!" despite her Russian name, she had a slight British accent.  
I stepped inside, thankful to get out of the cold and she closed the door behind me.  
"Come on, sit down! Have a drink, while I prepare everything. Roman told me you'd bring your own ink? Ashes, huh?" she ushered me into a modern living room and pointed me towards the sofa.  
"Yea, we're trying to unlock my full potential... whatever that means." I laughed nervously as I handed her the small pouch of ashes.  
"Yes, yes, I've done a couple of those before. Good thing you're a woman, I wasn't sure because of your name and all, but women are much easier to ink. Not as squeamish, you know... Cuz this is gonna hurt like a bitch." she explained, chuckling to herself lowly.  
"Yea, I think I've gotten pretty good at coping with pain lately..." I murmured, looking down at my hands in my lap.  
"Oh dear! Who did this to you?" she asked, when she noticed my missing finger.  
"Some guy... it's not important." I murmured, not really wanting to tell the story again.  
"It's okay, you don't have to say. Once we get this inside of you, no one will be able to hurt you ever again!" she tried cheering me up. "We can also freshen those others up a bit, if you want to." she pointed to the black lines on my hands. They were fading a bit in spots, on my knuckles and around my wrists. "This should make more than enough ink." she shook the small pouch appreciatively.  
"Thank you! I'd love that!" I said, smiling at her weakly. She had seemed intimidating at first but first impressions weren't always right, obviously.  
Once she had mixed up the ink, she told me to pull off my pants. I was confused at first, but she explained to me that the kind of tattoo I wanted had to go on the back of my knees. Hence her comment about guys being squeamish.  
I lay down on my front and she quickly drew the design and didn't waste any time with letting me see it before starting on me.   
It hurt so bad, I wondered if whoever had come up with the technique had thought about what was the most painful spot for a tattoo. I sure couldn’t think of a worse one. And I had a tattoo on my groin, so I ought to know.  
"I really hope this is gonna be worth it." I whispered through gritted teeth, burying my fingers in a cushion she had given me.  
"Oh yes dear, that much I can promise you."

 

A few hours later, I limped into the Diner. Magic had fallen halfway through our session and I had to wait for it to come back to heal my sore skin.  
I hadn't yet had a chance to look at myself in a mirror so I didn't even know what Galina had tattooed on me.  
"I'll be with you in a second!" I heard Mia shout from the kitchen, as I used the Diner’s public phone to call Roman. He didn’t pick up, but I left him a message, telling him to come see me either here or at home, then I carefully sat down in my usual booth, breathing against my folded hands to warm my fingers up.  
There was only one other customer there, which wasn’t unusual for this hour. He sat at the table closest to the door. Something about him seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite tell what it was. I guessed, he was about 40. His face had probably been pretty at one point in his life, but now it looked like something had been broken a few times and not healed quite right. His curly hair sticking out from his head in every direction made him look like a weirdo… and not the good kind.  
“What can I do for…. “ Mia stopped on her way to my table, looking around the Diner in confusion. “Oh it’s you. Didn’t someone else come in here just now?”  
I shook my head. “Nope, just me.” I said.  
She didn’t pay attention to my words, but started scenting the air around me.  
I blinked at her. “What are you doing?”  
“You… you smell!” she said, sniffing my hair.  
“I do?” I lifted my arm to sniff at my armpit.  
“No, not like that… you smell different!” She sniffed at the crook of my neck. “More… I dunno… Alpha.”  
“What are you talking about?” I asked, pushing her away gently.  
“When you just came in, my hackles rose. You don’t usually do that.” she pulled me out of my booth and walked around me, looking me up and down. “Something about you is changed.” she murmured.  
“I made your hackles rise?” I repeated her words. “I…’m sorry, I guess?” I slowly said.  
“Don’t be… just tell me what’s different!” she was still looking me up and down, but didn’t seem to find anything.  
“Umm… I got a new tattoo! Wanna see?”  
“That’s probably not it, but show me anyways!” she looked at me expectantly, gladly letting me change the subject.  
I pulled her through the kitchen where Cook was just peeling some onions, into the employee dressing room and pulled down my pants to show her. Twisting my body trying, and failing, to look at the back side of my own legs. "I haven't even had a chance to look at it myself."  
“It's.... an R and a backwards R. Why did you get R’s?” she asked.  
“R’s?” I asked, trying to look at the back of my knees once more.  
“Yea.” she turned me towards the mirror on the wall.  
“Oh” I whispered when I looked at the small runes, mirroring each other on each leg. “Hm... It kinda makes sense. It’s raidho… the rune for evolution.”  
“But it looks like an R!” she insisted.  
“Yea… it does.” I had to agree.  
“Sam won’t like that. He came to see Dean and me this morning, talking about some Roman guy you were hanging out with. He asked me if you’d ever told me anything about him. And now you get an R tattoo. What are you up to, Ira?”  
“Shit.” I pulled my pants back up. “He really asked about Roman?”  
“Yea… who is he?”  
I leaned against the lockers, looking to the tiled floor. “He’s a childhood friend… and I just recently met him again and…. I don’t know… my heart does weird things when he’s around. Things it doesn’t do with Sam.” I looked at her and hastily wiped the moisture from my eyes.  
“Shit.” she whispered.  
“Yea… I mean, I like Sam, I really do… and the sex with him… it's a-fucking-mazing! But my heart just…“ I couldn’t finish the sentence.  
“Oh Ira!” she said and hugged me.  
“I…” I started, but my voice broke. A teardrop slowly trickled down my cheek. “I think I’m in love with him.” I whispered and more tears started flowing.  
“Well, to be honest, I was waiting for something like this to happen.” Mia’s voice was soft. “I mean… you and Sam, you look cute together, but it doesn’t feel like there’s any chemistry between the two of you. And Dean said so too.”  
“He did?” I sniveled.  
Mia nodded.  
“Come on, sit down. I’ll bring you some tea.” she gently ushered me back to my booth.  
Cook was still occupied with his onions, but stopped when we walked through. He wordlessly made the evil eye sign against us, before turning back around.  
I sniffed and looked at Mia questioningly. She silently rolled her eyes and made a dismissive drinking motion when he didn’t look.  
  
“These things just happen sometimes.” she said, petting my back, after she had settled me in my booth again. “It isn’t as if you chose to fall in love with someone else.”  
She was right. I knew she was, but still I felt awful.  
“Don’t tell Sam please.” I whispered.  
“I won’t, but you have to promise me you tell him before you do anything with that Roman guy!” she demanded.  
I nodded.  
The door opened and she looked up. “Hey Dean!” she quickly went to him and gave him a kiss.  
I sat with my back to the door, and hastily wiped away the tears before Dean could see them.  
“Hey stranger, long time no see!” he chuckled, sitting down opposite of me.  
I forced myself to laugh as well. “Yea, it’s gotten rare, since one of us decided he didn’t want to share breakfast anymore.”  
We joked around for a bit and I almost forgot about my problems… until Roman walked past outside the window.  
  
“Hey!” I half turned and waved at him, as he entered.  
He quickly sat down next to me and I introduced everyone.  
“Mia, Dean, that’s Roman, my childhood friend slash nemesis. Roman, that’s Dean, Sam’s brother and Mia, my adulthood friends, no slash.” I chuckled. Putting on a happy face was almost too easy.  
They each shook hands and Roman sat down next to me, his knee lightly touching mine under the table.  
“So, how do you feel?” he asked, half turning towards me.  
“Honestly? The same.” I said. “Kinda disappointing.”  
“Just wait for the next Magic wave… you’ll notice.” he promised.  
“What are you guys talking about?” Dean asked.  
“We're trying to unlock Ira’s full magic potential. It should happen any minute now.” Roman quickly explained.  
“Umm I think it has already happened.” Mia said, giving me side eye. “Don’t look at me like that! You smell different! My nose never betrays me!”  
Roman looked at her questioningly. “And what does that nose of yours say?”  
“Just that Ira somehow smells like an Alpha, all of a sudden.”  
“Does she then?” he bent towards me and pushed his nose against the crook of my neck, inhaling deeply.  
“Would everyone please stop sniffing me?” I pushed him away, only half faking my annoyance. If Dean noticed anything off, he would waste no time telling Sam.  
“Well, I don’t smell any difference, but it was worth a try.”  
“And I don’t feel any different, so it probably didn’t work.” I rolled my eyes.  
“What did you even do to unlock your powers?” Dean wanted to know.  
I cued him in, carefully leaving out the exact shape of the tattoos. “And before you ask, I can’t show you… it’s in a pretty… indelicate spot. And I bet Mia wouldn’t appreciate me putting my ass in your face.”  
“Oh, so you’re a couple?” Roman asked.  
“Yea, that one is mine.” Dean pulled Mia close and placed a kiss on her temple, making very clear who she was with. Mia giggled like a little school girl.  
My heart stung. I wanted someone to act like that with me. And I wanted to giggle over someone being affectionate as well. Why didn’t I ever feel like doing that when I was with Sam?  
Another customer, a beautiful young woman with blond hair down to her perfect ass, came in and walked past our table, accidentally brushing Roman’s shoulder. I felt a pang of… something… at another woman touching my… no, he wasn’t my anything, I reminded myself.  
Mia got up to attend to the bitch.  
“Well, I’ll be on my way. Just wanted to check on Mia. Don’t be a stranger!” Dean said and got up as well, leaving me with Roman.  
  
“Why did you cry?” he asked in a low voice, as soon as Dean was out the door.  
“I… “ I hesitated as Magic rose. These waves seemed to be getting shorter and shorter lately.  
But it was no wonder. The last flare was almost seven and a half years ago. Flares roughly happened every seven years, so we were long overdue.   
And now, with Magic up, I had to admit, I felt slightly different.  
“Ira?” Roman asked. When I looked at him, he seemed concerned.  
“Yeah… sorry… I was just a bit… “ I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. “I’m feeling a bit weird.”  
“Yea, figured... You were just staring at that table for a full five minutes. Do you want me to take you home?"  
“Yea, my head is...” I trailed off, losing my train of thought, as I noticed the beautiful blonde stare at Roman.  
“Come on, let’s get you home.” he said and got up.  
I shot the girl a look. She gasped as if in pain. Roman didn’t notice. He was focused on me, as I slowly got up.  
“Come here.” he put his arm around my waist, carrying half my weight.   
When we turned towards the door, where the curly haired dude still sat, I had to squint again. That guy packed some serious power. The very air around him shimmered blue with Magic, but I had no problem toning my mage sight down. That was new.  
  
The walk to my house was pretty short, thankfully. It had gotten dark outside and the Feylanterns were barely illuminating the streets. What had started as a drizzle in the morning had turned to sleet by now and an icy wind blew around the corners.  
When we reached my house, I quickly let us in and closed the door behind us to keep the awful weather out.  
Despite the short distance from the Diner, we were both wet and frozen through.  
Shivering, I shrugged out of my much too thin, wet jacket and let it fall to the ground where I stood.  
The fabric of Roman's robes was soaked as well.  
“Come on, don’t be shy! Pull those off!” I ordered, pulling on his sleeves.  
He chuckled as he started unbuttoning. “How long have I wished you’d say those words to me…”  
I rolled my eyes. “I’ll be upstairs, making a fire. I’m freezing.”  


Boy and Kali were sleeping on the sofa. They looked at me as I woke them with my human noises but quickly closed their eyes again when they realized I was making it warm for us.   
I turned my frozen ass towards the fire just as Roman was walking up the stairs. He was in a black form fitting v-neck shirt and black jeans, both serving perfectly to show off his slim body.  
“Do you always wear that under your dress?” I asked. I didn’t know what I had expected, but that was definitely not it.  
“What, did you expect I’d be naked underneath?” he rubbed his bare arms as he joined me in front of the heat stove.  
“Yea, kinda…”  
“Only in summer.” he winked and I wasn’t entirely sure if he was serious.  
I turned around, so my front faced the heat. My body was slowly thawing.  
“You know… “ Roman said, looking at me, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you got something that looks like a fresh ward around you.”  
“I do?” I stretched out my arms, trying to see for myself, but failed.   
“Yea… I wonder what it is.” He walked to my other side, looking me up and down. “It’s all around you.”   
I was wearing a tanktop and jeans and I knew that particular pair of jeans showed off my curves perfectly. “Yea sure… and now you’re only ogling me because of the shimmer.” I grinned.  
“Partly…” he admitted and took a step towards me from the side. I leaned in his direction so we were almost touching. Almost but not quite.  
He put his arm on my shoulder and carefully let his hand glide down my back, while keeping eye contact. His brown eyes looked almost black in the low light and I felt I could lose myself in them.  
When he came to the small of my back with his hand, he stopped, silently asking for permission. In that second, I forgot all about the promise I had made to Mia and about Sam. All that counted was here and now.  
I turned towards him and closed the distance between us. My heart beat so fast, my pulse was probably visible in my throat. Our bodies molded against each other perfectly. He pressed me against his chest with both his arms and I stood on tiptoe just the tiniest bit so I could reach his face with mine. Our foreheads touched, as we stared into each other’s eyes for a second, my arms around his neck, his around my waist. His hot breath against my skin felt more intimate than any caress ever had before. I bit my lower lip nervously and then he closed the last distance between us and kissed me.   
When our lips touched, I felt a jolt of electricity go through my body. Suddenly, my life until that moment felt grey and only seemed to fill with color with his kiss.  
His lips were soft but firm at the same time. Firm and demanding.  
He squeezed my ass as I pressed against him, letting my hands glide from around his neck down over his back and under the soft fabric of his T-shirt. I needed to feel his skin under my fingers, everything else didn’t matter.  
“Fuck you’re cold.” he hissed, as I touched his skin.  
I chuckled against his mouth. “Don’t be such a pussy.”  
He bit my lip gently and pulled my hands out from under his T-shirt.  
“Killjoy.” I said, as he held me by the wrists so I couldn’t touch him again. Our faces were inches apart still and we grinned at each other, until I noticed he was bleeding.  
“What… did I bite you?” I asked, pulling away a bit, wiping his blood away with my fingers.  
He let go of my hands and touched the shallow cut himself. “I don’t think so.”  
“I’m sorry.” I said, already starting to chant, when I saw his eyes widen as he looked at something behind me.  
I turned as well and froze. Sam was standing at the top of the stairs.  
“So all you were doing was setting up a ward, yes?” he said, walking closer. He seemed calm outwardly, but his eyes betrayed how mad he was.  
“Sam… I’m sorry.” I whispered, walking in his direction.  
“Yea, you better be…” he said. I put my hand on his upper arm, hoping I could calm him down, but he pushed me to the side and walked straight to roman.  
“I knew you were trouble from the first second I saw you.” he said and without warning, he took a swing at Roman.  
Sam had at least 50 pounds on Roman and none of it was fat.  
Roman stumbled backwards with the impact and fell over a pile of books on the ground.  
“Sam! What the fuck?” I shouted, but he had already turned around wordlessly and was stomping down the stairs.  
Roman groaned and pushed the heel of his hand against his forehead. He was now bleeding from a gash at his eyebrow as well as from his lip.  
I held out my hand to help him up.  
When we touched, again it felt as if a spark of electricity traveled between us. I pulled back and he almost fell back over.  
"Sorry." I whispered as he made it to his feet on his own.  
Both the gashes on his face were healed, all of a sudden and only the small drops of blood served as a reminder of them having been there in the first place.  
He groaned. The cuts being healed didn't mean he wasn't still in pain.  
  
“Are you okay?” he asked and tried to hug me, ignoring his own discomfort.  
"You… but you should probably leave." I whispered, moving out of his reach.  
"You sure?" he asked.   
"Yea. It's all your fault after all."  
"Umm... what?" he had been slowly walking towards the stairs, but stopped midstride to stare at me.  
"Well, you've been flirting with me all along... even though I told you I had a boyfriend."  
"So, what, you're the victim here?" he asked, disbelief tainting his voice.  
"No, but.... Can you just leave please?" I turned away, sighing. My knees went weak and I held on to one of the chairs.  
Tears threatened to come once more, but I didn't want to cry in front of him.  
"You do realize I'm the one with the bloody face, yes? But whatever... I'm out." He made it to the stairs and stomped down. I heard him mumble something under his breath, but couldn't make out his words. They probably weren't friendly.


	4. Indoor Jungles and Smut and a giant Turtle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ira's new powers begin to sprout (literally).  
> She has to admit that maybe sending Roman away wasn't that great of an idea.  
> They make up and have some lovely makeup sex, before getting a huge truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter starts off right after the last one ended, just so you know...

I sat and contemplated for a while, all alone in my mostly dark flat.  
I didn't bother turning on any lights, why would I? It wouldn’t change how bad I had fucked up. No, darkness was just fine with me.  
Mechanically, because I did so every few days, I checked the potted plants in my flat while brushing my teeth. For the umpteenth time that day, I electrocuted myself. Why was I that charged?  
I watered the plants that felt too dry and then went to bed, refusing to think or feel anything.  
The day had been crazy exhausting with everything that had happened and quickly fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning, I was woken up by someone bumping on my bedroom wall.  
Groaning, I got up and stuck my head out the window. I was still exhausted to no end and on top, I had a bad headache. The icy cold air outside woke me up some, but did nothing for the headache. I squinted at Mia, who was looking at me from their opened window, trying to shield my eyes from the harsh early morning light.  
“Hey umm… what have you been doing over there?” she asked.  
"Umm... sleeping?!" I mumbled, hugging myself and rubbing my arms to keep myself from shivering.  
"Nothing else?" she asked, grabbing something from inside the window and held it out to me.  
"What is that?" I asked, trying to get my still sleepy eyes to focus on her.  
"Magic moss. It’s all over our bedroom wall." she said.  
"What?" I rubbed my eyes. "That wasn't me."  
Dean’s head suddenly appeared over hers. It would have looked funny, if I hadn’t been in such a mood. "Well... you must have done something. Sam also is in mood since yesterday" he said.  
I sighed and moved back inside. It was too cold and too early for this. If they wanted to chew me out, they might as well come over.  
Still half asleep, I padded towards the bathroom. Magic was still up, and I felt on edge. Anxious.  
When I stepped on something in the kitchen, I stopped. What the fuck.  
There was green everywhere. Every plant I had watered yesterday had grown to at least twice its size. The devil’s ivy was a fast grower under normal circumstances. It had exploded and it’s vines were all over the floor. Leaves and vines were hanging from the cupboards and growing towards the other shelfs. I couldn’t make out a real pattern to their growth, but it felt as if they were growing towards my bedroom.  
I felt like they were crawling towards me now, but that was probably bullshit. Plants didn't crawl towards people, right?  
I tried to move away from the plants, but there really wasn’t much space where I could move to. What the fuck was happening?  
When the door downstairs was unlocked, I let out a noise that was half sigh, half sob.  
"Dean! Stop it!" I heard Mia’s voice. "It’s not her fault!"  
Two sets of feet were stomping up the stairs and I mentally prepared myself for Dean chewing me out.  
"Who else’s fault is it then?" he asked Mia, before turning to me. "Why did you have to do this? Do you know how hard it is for Sam to open up to people?" he shouted, building himself up before me. Only then did he seem to notice the greenery all over my flat. "What happened here?" he asked, pointing at the plants.  
"I don't know." I whispered, sounding as defeated as I felt.  
"There's moss growing outside as well." Mia said. "I think that thing you did... it’s probably working."  
"You think so?" I asked sarcastically.  
Mia sighed. "Can you leave us alone, Dean?" she said and walked towards me, putting her arm around my shoulders protectively. I turned to her and buried my face against her shoulder. At least one person didn’t hate me.  
Only after I heard the door fall shut downstairs, I dared to speak again.  
"I'm so sorry" I sobbed. "It just... it just happened."  
"It's okay. Sam will survive. And after seeing Roman and you together... I understand!" she murmured. And really, that was all I needed. Someone to tell me I wasn’t as bad as I felt. For a while, my sobs were the only noise that disturbed the silence.  
"That tattoo you got... it really worked, huh?" Mia finally said, looking around.  
"Yes... and I hate it."  
"Understandably so... Did you tell Roman about… this?"  
I shook my head. "We had a fight."  
"Ira, you have to call him. This in here and the sheer amount of moss that’s growing outside... people will come to the wrong conclusions." she said.  
Magic moss grew practically everywhere these days, but it was densest in areas with great sources of magic. And when it appeared somewhere over night, people would know something was up.

After promising Mia I'd call Roman later, she left.  
Thankful to be alone, I got dressed in my usual jeans, tanktop and knit jacket and opened the store, trying to occupy my mind with something that would make me forget my indoor jungle upstairs. I was eager for one normal day after the weirdness of the last weeks, but somehow I knew that probably wasn't going to happen anytime soon.  
A few customers came in and I made good money, selling the magic moss from outside my store by the cartloads. People were scratching it off the walls with spatulas. It was fresh and pure and not yet tainted by the evil things that roamed the nights.  
I also sold the last of the powder made from the glass shards from the mole hole, meaning I’d have to go there soon to harvest more. The powder worked wonders mixed up with wolfsbane to make shapeshifter repellant. Not lethal, but very very painful, Mia had assured me.  
When Magic finally fell a few hours later, I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was normal old Ira again.  
A kid came in soon after, with an old, sick dog. Kali, who had been sleeping in the window got up and went upstairs, seeming annoyed. She didn’t like other animals. She barely even tolerated Boy.  
I bent down and was about to tell the kid I couldn't help him during Tech, when electricity sparked between my fingers and the dog’s head, where I’d been petting him.  
The dog, barely able to walk when the duo had come in, sat up and started licking my hand. The boy could barely contain his happiness and hugged me tight, before running outside with his rejuvenated companion.  
Okay, that was enough.  
I swallowed my pride, picked up the phone and dialed Roman's number.  
He seemed smug about me calling him again so soon, but promised he’d come by ASAP.  
I had just served another customer, a teenage boy, buying a necklace with a tiny crystal on it for his girlfriend – from the crap corner in the store - when the phone rang.  
“No rest for the wicked.” I murmured to myself before picking up.  
“What did you do?” aunt Evdokia started, before I could even say my name.  
“Umm… what do you mean?”  
“My sisters tell me there is moss growing all over your house!” she said.  
I sighed. Word travelled fast. “Well… Roman got me these special ashes and I… “  
“Please child, tell me you did not do what I think you did.”  
“Umm… What is it that you think I did?” I asked carefully.  
“Did you get a tattoo using the ashes?”  
“… Maybe” I slowly said. “Would it be bad if I did?”  
“This is no matter to discuss over the phone. Come to the Oracle this evening.” she hung up before I could say anything else.  
“Way to go, aunt Evdokia. Not cryptic at all...” I murmured.  
“Did you just talk to my mother?” Roman suddenly asked. I hadn’t heard him come inside.  
“Yea, she’s being weird.” I said.  
“And I can see why.” he motioned towards the moss outside with his staff.  
“You should see what’s happened upstairs. And the moss is even growing inside Dean’s house. Roman, what’s happening?”  
“I don’t know… it’s probably my fault as well.” he said snarky.  
“Roman please, don’t be petty. I was under a lot of stress. I’m sorry.” I sighed, looking up at him as I walked towards him.  
He rolled his eyes. “Show me the upstairs then.”  
We walked towards the stairs and I was just about to set my foot on the first one, when he grabbed my hand. “You don’t regret kissing me yesterday, do you?”  
I shook my head. “Not at all! One of the few good things that happened yesterday.”  
“Good!” he said and pulled me into his arms.  
I chuckled, but he shut me up with his lips on mine. It felt incredible. I wanted to stay like that forever, with him holding and protecting me. I wanted to melt inside of him and let him carry me away from all this bullshit.  
I hadn’t realized I’d been pushing him backwards until he butted against the cabinets that took up the back wall. He huffed and let go of me for a second, but quickly pressed his half opened lips to mine again and turned us around. Now it was me being caught between the wall and his body and I didn’t mind the slightest bit. He pushed himself against me and made me really want to show him the upstairs. The bedroom especially.  
Almost on its own accord, my leg wrapped itself around his hips and pulled him even closer.  
“Let’s go upstairs.” I whispered when he let go of me long enough so I could catch my breath. “I really need to show you…. the upstairs.”  
The doorbells chimed and another customer came inside, interrupting our moment. Roman kissed me again, but I pulled myself away from him, before the kiss could become more.  
A woman in her 30s with short blonde hair of the sort who made every person in retail shiver with disgust stood in the middle of the salesroom and looked me up and down before starting to speak.  
“How can I help you?” I asked, wanting to make her leave as quickly as possible.  
“Oh I just wanted to browse some.” she said, seeming chipper.  
“Sorry, no browsing today. We’re pretty busy. Either buy something or leave.”  
“I’ll be real quick.” She turned around, looking at each of my items slowly, while repeatedly tapping her index finger against her lips.  
“Listen, Lady. Whatever you’re searching, I probably don’t have it. I don’t even sell any of this stuff.” I said, barely managing to contain my annoyance.  
“But I… how much is this?” she said, seemingly grabbing a random item from one of the shelfs. It was a bottle, made from green glass, with a silver stopper.  
“Sorry, not for sale, please leave!” I said, ushering her towards the exit while taking the bottle from her.  
“But it’s right here on the sales floor.”  
“Yes, not for sale though.” I cut her off.  
“But…”  
“Okay, you can buy it… for a million dollars!” I said, wishing she’d just leave.  
“But…”  
“Okay, Lady. Either you buy something or you leave. NOW.” I said and opened the door for her.  
“But…”  
“Sorry, missed your chance. Bye!” I pushed her out the door and locked up behind her. “Stupid cunt.”  
I heard Roman chuckle behind me. “Now that’s no way to treat a paying customer.” he said.  
“I don’t give a shit, come on upstairs!” I grabbed his hands and put them on my hips, holding on to them as I pulled him after me, up the stairs.  
He laughed… until he saw the greenery in my living room… and kitchen. He slowed down a bit, but I didn’t care about that now and pulled him right into my bedroom. It looked like the plants had grown some more, but I didn’t care about that either.  
I led him into my bedroom and shut the door behind us after making sure the cats were in the living room. I wanted no further interruptions.  
Roman stood before the bed, watching me motionless, as I turned towards him.  
I pulled off my jacket and let it fall on the ground. My tank top came next, before I walked towards him, struggling out of my boots.  
“What are you looking at?” I teased, crowding him towards the bed. He wore his robes again and I started unbuttoning them. It felt like there were a million buttons, but finally, he shrugged out of them and the robes joined my clothes on the floor.  
I licked my lips and grinned as I pushed him backwards until his legs hit the bed. And then I pushed him a little farther.  
He plopped down and I climbed on top of him, pushing him backwards, until he was flat on the bed, caught under my body.  
“Taking the initiative. I like that in a woman.” he laughed.  
“Yea, you always did.” I kissed him before he could say anything more.  
The air in my bedroom was cold and I had goosebumps, but I didn’t much care about that, as I felt his hot body under mine.  
I put my hands in his and we interlocked our fingers, left and right of his head, which left me on my elbows with my ass in the air. For a second I was reminded of Crowley, but quickly shoved the thought aside.  
This was Roman and I trusted him and knew he would never hurt me. I let go of his hands and moved towards the hem of his shirt knowing full well, my fingers were icy cold. Grinning, I shoved them under his clothes to feel the soft skin of his tummy. He pulled in air between his teeth. “You love torturing me, don’t you?” Grabbing my hands in his, he tried to warm them up a bit.  
“… maybe” I chuckled.  
“Minx.” he whispered as he rubbed my hands between his and turned us around, so he was on top, my legs caught between his.  
I bit my bottom lip, watching him as he pulled off his t-shirt. The line of dark hair from his navel downwards hadn’t been there when I’d last seen him naked. Neither had the soft curls on his chest been. My breath caught in my throat as he bent over me and I allowed myself to touch his chest. A whimper escaped my lips at first contact.  
“Keep making those noises and we’ll be done in five minutes.” he whispered against my neck, before kissing me there and downwards. I felt the bulge of his erection through the fabric of his jeans and bit back another moan.  
When he reached my breasts, he pulled down the cups of my bra and took my nipples between his teeth for a second, while unbuttoning my jeans, taking them and my panties with him when he continued his way down.  
“You got a tattoo… there?” he asked, taken aback for a moment.  
I laughed. “Yea, you like it?”  
“Very much!” he laughed as well as he pulled my pants all the way down and tossed them in the corner.  
“Fuck you’re even more gorgeous than in my memories.” He admired me for a moment before kneeling down at the foot of the bed and spreading my legs.  
My brain shut down completely, clouded with arousal and for once I didn’t say anything.  
We didn’t need any words anyways. He dove down between my legs eagerly and didn’t lose any more time. He licked and sucked every part of me like there was no tomorrow.  
“Can…. can I make… oh fuck…. can I make noises now?” I asked, shivering with pleasure with his caresses.  
“Make all the noise you want!” he said, slowly moving upwards atop my body again.  
He kissed me on the mouth and I could still taste myself on his lips. When he unbuttoned his jeans, I quickly got rid of my bra as well. I wanted every inch of my body touch every inch of his.  
Eagerly, I grabbed his back and pulled him closer, as soon as he was within reach again. I probably left bloody marks on his skin in my greed, but I didn’t care and neither did he seem to.  
He lined himself up with my entrance and my breath caught in my throat again.  
“Fuck I need you inside me so so bad!” I whispered, raking my nails over his arms, trying to pull him close.  
“Yea?” he asked, moving left and right a bit, teasing me. He glided over my skin easily as my juices mixed with the first drops of his precum.  
“Yea, stop teasing and fuck me already!” I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him towards me.  
“Your wish…. is my command.” he chuckled and entered me in one smooth motion that made both of us cry out in pleasure.  
He wasn’t too well endowed, but boy did he know how to use what he had. Pulling out almost completely before quickly entering myself again and again had me writhing with pleasure under him all too soon.  
His movements became faster and deeper, as we both moved towards our orgasms. He felt so right inside of me. Like he belonged there. I wanted to cry as his thrusts became more and more frantic.  
I touched myself, stroking my clit with quick fingers, when I felt he was almost finished and both our moans grew louder and louder, until we could hold back no longer.  
I grabbed his upper arms, when the waves of my pleasure threatened to pull me under, holding on to him for dear life as I felt him empty himself inside of me. The muscles inside of me contracted as if they wanted him inside of me even deeper.  
With one last grunt he collapsed on top of me, slowly rolling off, both of us exhausted and full of endorphins.  
He came to rest, still half on top of me and I pulled my blanket over our rapidly cooling bodies.  
Neither of us said anything, both of us content and spent.  
I played with the soft hairs at the back of his neck and he traced the lines of my body with his fingers under the blanket.  
It was almost dark outside, despite being only early afternoon. Fall was awful that way.  
Roman’s movement jerked me out of my half dreamy state and I realized he’d been talking.  
“Sorry what?” I whispered.  
“I was just saying, how I’m wondering about your powers. These plants outside… “  
“Yea, I also pulled a dog back from the brink of death earlier… during Tech.” I murmured.  
He rolled off of me and lay on his side, looking at me, playing with a strand of my hair. I rolled onto my side as well, facing him.  
“How do you feel now?” he asked, looking me in the eyes.  
“Normal, I’d say… during Tech , it’s mostly the same. When Magic was up though… it felt weird. Exhausting.”  
“Yea… that can happen sometimes when people have more power slumbering in them than they think. I should have warned you about that probably, but I honestly didn’t think you’d be this powerful.”  
“I don’t know if I’m powerful…” I murmured. “I mean… making plants grow?”  
“Saving dying animals? Healing my cuts… and my knee has been bothering me for a while too, but it stopped after you touched me yesterday…”  
“So what, my power is superhealing?” I rolled on my back, looking at the ceiling. “I thought I’d get some cool new powers… like shooting fire from my fingers or something…”  
“You’re a Healer and a Sensate, Ira…” he chuckled. “No amount of Magic is gonna make you a firemage.”  
I sighed. “Bummer…”  
“You really have to be careful with this though. You have to keep your emotions under control or things could become dangerous.” his voice was all serious suddenly.  
I turned my head to look at his earnest face. “How long have you known me now? About 20 years? You know keeping my emotions under control is not an option.”  
He moved up onto his elbow. “You’re going to have to learn it though. To quote spiderman: With great power comes great responsibility!”  
“Spiderman didn’t say that… Uncle Ben did…” I rolled my eyes.  
“Same difference. Doesn’t make it any less true.”  
I groaned and turned away from him. “This stuff is hard.”  
“I know… but we’ll figure this out. I’ll be with you every step of the way.” he whispered against my back, making me shiver.  
I sighed and moved backwards, so he was spooning me, and pulled his arm around myself, to kiss his fingers. 

We decided to do nothing about the plants for now. They were massive, but still they were just plants and no danger to anyone. The bathroom was even more overgrown than the kitchen, but I had other things to worry about.  
Aunt Evdokia was waiting and Roman had decided he’d come with me, since he was probably as much at fault for whatever it was that aunt Evdokia was mad about, as I was. 

The Witch Oracle sat in the very center of Centenniel Park. The entrance looked like the maw of a giant animal… and that was exactly what it was.  
I worked hard to not think about the fact that we were walking inside the mouth of a huge turtle; trying – and failing – to tell myself that the squishy pink thing on the ground was just a carpet… and that the liquid farther inside was just water. And that the walls didn’t move with every breath the turtle took.  
The air didn’t exactly smell rancid, but there was something to it that didn’t feel quite right to me. Not for the first time I wondered how the turtle even survived, when there were people constantly coming and going inside of it.  
Aunt Evdokia was sitting in what I liked to call their throne room with Maria and Sienna, the other two members of the Oracle. I knew I couldn’t act as familiar as I usually did with her when we were here.  
Roman and I walked inside and formally greeted the three, bowing to each of them in turn. We were tolerated at this most sacred spot, for obvious reasons. Tolerated, but not welcomed.  
“Come here, child.” Evdokia said. She wore long brownish robes, her “work” clothes. Her long grey hair, usually bound up in a bun, was flowing down her shoulders. The other two wore the same brown robes. Sienna was a few years younger than I was. Her blonde hair was in a thick, long braid. Maria’s head was almost bald. She had been old and kinda sickish looking even when I was a little kid. And the years since I’d last seen her hadn’t improved her looks at all.  
Despite Tech being up, I felt their power. Centenniel Park, and the turtle especially, were such strong magic spots, Tech couldn’t entirely penetrate until this very center of the witches’ power.  
The hairs at my nape rose as I walked towards them.  
“It is as we feared, sisters.” Maria, the Crone, said, looking at me, condemningly.  
“The ward has been broken.” Sienna, the Maiden said. I knew she was ridiculously skinny under those robes of theirs, but the flowing fabric managed to hide this fact well.  
“What… are you talking about?” I whispered, looking between the three of them.  
“It is time you found out the truth about your heritage, child.” Evdokia said.  
I didn’t ask any further, just waited for them to continue talking. My heart was beating fast though and I nervously looked back over my shoulder to where Roman was standing.  
“Your mother, believing herself unable to bear children, promised her firstborn to a powerful warlock. We don’t know what she gained through it, but we know she did make the promise.” Sienna started.  
“When she still wasn’t pregnant a few years later, the warlock grew impatient and forced himself upon her.” Maria continued.  
I felt cold all of a sudden, despite the warm air around me.  
“She wanted to end the pregnancy, but her mother, your grandmother, went to us for help, fearing the Warlock would kill her daughter if he found out what she had done. We promised to help her, telling her to bring you to us as soon as you were born. When the day came, we locked your power inside of you, hoping the Warlock wouldn’t be interested in a child that barely had any magic in her.” Sienna continued, her voice void of emotion. They obviously didn’t give a shit about my feelings.  
I stared at Evdokia, as if she could somehow make this awful truth less severe.  
“We hid your powers, as we had promised. And over the years, as we noticed your strength grow, we added more and more wards, while your grandmother made sure you would not receive any magical training to keep your powers hidden.” Maria explained.  
“I was to check on you and your grandmother in regular intervals to make sure our magic worked. And it did. Until you and my son….” she took a deep breath “until you and my son foolishly decided to unlock your powers without consulting us first. I felt the wards get scratched yesterday… and they are breaking now, as we speak. Crumbling away, piece by piece.” Evdokia’s voice sounded strained, as if it hurt her to tell me all this.  
I felt nausea rise inside of me. This was too much. I had always thought of aunt Evdokia as family. And now she told me it was all just business. I took a step backwards, not wanting to hear any more of what they were saying. They wouldn’t stop talking though.  
“Sienna has had a vision about you. The Warlock will come to find you. He seeks to increase his power as well, same as you, his child. And he needs a corrupted heart to do so. Your heart.” Maria said.  
I stumbled backwards a few more steps, until I felt someone behind me.  
Roman grabbed me by the arm, but I didn’t let him stop me. I needed to get out of here.  
“You have to be on guard. He will corrupt you and then he will find you!” Evdokia shouted after me, but I was already almost outside, with Roman close behind.  
A chorus of four letter words flew from my lips, as I made my way out the turtle. For good measure, I gave one of its teeth a kick, before bending over and puking right next to the entrance, leaning against the scaly skin.  
“They can’t be fucking serious!” I whispered, wiping my mouth with a tissue Roman had handed me. “How could they…. Did you know about this?” I stood up and looked at him.  
“Do you really think I’d have given you those ashes if I’d known about this?” he asked, raising one eyebrow.  
He had a point. Okay, that meant I could still trust him. Aunt Evdokia had just died for me though.  
But if Sienna’s prophecy was true, her betrayal was the least of my problems.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I can honestly say, this is the best smutty scene I've written so far! I'm so proud of myself, honestly <3


	5. full of self loathing but still happy

Finding out the circumstances that led to my birth and everything around it was a lot to chew on. The walk home was therefore quiet, as one would expect. A few lone snowflakes were falling from the sky, making everything feel calm somehow.  
When Magic rose, I stopped midstride and reached out for Roman to keep my balance as the weight of my new power settled on my shoulders. I knew he wouldn't be there every time a Magic wave came and I’d have to get used to dealing with this alone, but right now he was here and I was thankful for having him. 

  
When we finally made it to my store, part of me wanted to send Roman home. Another, much bigger part couldn't bear the thought of being alone though, so I asked him to stay. As I was unlocking the door, I heard one of the cats scream inside. The noise jerked me out of my stupor and I hurried inside, Roman close on my heels. I took the steps to the upper floor two at a time.  
The greenery had grown some more and at first glance it looked like everything was covered by it.  
"Kali? Boy?" I shouted. "Where are you?"  
A hiss from the bathroom was the only reply.  
I ran towards the noise, mindlessly stomping on the vines all across the floor.  
Inside the bathroom, Kali was fighting and clawing a plant that had wound around her belly and was holding on to her. Boy was with her, trying to chew through the sprout.  
I lost no time and unceremoniously ripped off the sprout, freeing her from the plants' grasp. Her eyes were filled with terror as she climbed on top of my shoulder, making liberate use of her claws on my skin. Her heart raced in her little chest.  
I winced, as I tried lifting her down and pulling her claws out of my flesh. "Everything's okay, kitty." I whispered. "Shhhhh... I'm here... shhhh."  
I managed to get her settled on my arm with her paws remaining up on my shoulder so she could still watch the plants all around.  
"Die, fucking plant!" I hissed and stomped on some more of the vines for good measure. Roman was watching me, his face half amused, half worried.  
Kali remained sitting on my arm. I had the feeling she wouldn't go down anytime soon. She meowed at me, as some of the vines on the ground started to brown and shrivel up, right before our eyes. The browning continued along the length of the stalk and all the way to the pot.  
"Wait what?" I stopped moving to watch the plant.  
Roman bent down to examine it. "Interesting." he murmured.  
"Did I do that?" I asked, looking at him. All the stalks and sprouts from that one particular plant were rapidly browning and shriveling up all through the room.  
"I think you just killed it." Roman stated the obvious.  
"But I..." I started, but didn't know what else to say.  
"Seems like you can't only heal and make stuff grow, but also kill with your powers. That’s giving this whole thing an entirely new perspective."  
For the second time that day my knees threatened to give out under me. I blinked at Roman rapidly and held on to the doorframe between bathroom and kitchen with one hand, while still holding Kali with the other. "I'm slowly starting to think this whole search for more power wasn't an entirely good idea." I murmured.  
"Well... it's turning out a bit different than we expected... but you wanted to be able to defend yourself and no one is going to be able to hurt you now." he tried highlighting the bright side of things.  
"Yea, but I'll have to take care not to hurt my friends... or anyone for that matter." I slowly walked towards the kitchen table and sat down after brushing off the leaves that lay on the chair. Kali climbed on the table, even though she knew she wasn't usually allowed to. But this were no ordinary circumstances and we both knew that as well.  
"We'll figure this out." Roman joined us at the table and hugged me to his chest while he remained standing. "And if we can't, we'll just put a ward around your powers again." he joked.  
"Too soon." I murmured, pressed against his chest. "Waaaaay too soon."  
"Sorry." he whispered and bent down to place a kiss on top of my head.  
"How are other people doing this? I mean..."  
"Most people grow into their full powers over a period of years, not during one day. But if it’s any consolation, I was feeling the same when I became a priest. You're doing much better than I did."

We went to bed soon after. I was glad Roman stayed with me. He spooned me from behind. Kali lay on top of my hip, still traumatized by her earlier adventure and Boy was climbing under the blanket in front of me. I was effectively embraced by love and warmth. So much that I almost started feeling better. Almost.

In the morning, I was woken up by a sound from downstairs. Someone was unlocking the door. Ugh. If my friends didn’t stop letting themselves in unannounced, I'd have to take away their keys.  
Roman lay with his back towards me and didn't stir. He was a heavy sleeper obviously.  
Pulling the blanket over my head, I wished I were too. I wasn’t yet ready to face the challenges of the day.  
"Ira?" Mia shouted from downstairs. I groaned, but didn't reply otherwise, knowing she'd hear me anyways.  
"How have you still not gotten rid of all the greenery?" I heard her ask from the kitchen a few seconds later.  
The bedroom door was ajar to let the cats come and go and she pushed it open.  
"Can't you call, like a normal person?" I groaned from under the blanket. Roman was still sleeping.  
"I'm not a normal person. Neither are you, so: no." she laughed. "I just wanted to check on you before work. You never told me about that meeting with your aunt." She plopped down on my side of the bed, ignoring the still sleeping Roman.  
I pulled the blanket down far enough so I could look at her. "Don't ask. I have no aunt anymore."   
"That bad?" she asked, voice low.  
Roman groaned behind me. He was finally waking up as well and turned around. Upon seeing someone else in our bed, he lifted himself up on his elbow. "Waking up in bed with two women... nice." he murmured and wrapped himself around me from behind, making it very clear how very nice he found waking up like that.  
"Come by the diner later and tell me everything." Mia said, obviously not wanting to keep us from enjoying our new love... lust... whatever it was.  
"Hey Mia?" I caught her wrist as she was standing up. "Are Sam and Dean still mad?"  
"Sam is working all the time. I barely ever see him. And Dean... well... I don't think he's actually mad. He just doesn't talk about you at all, but he never talks about anything, so I wouldn't worry too much..."  
I sighed.  
"Don't worry! They'll come around!" She got up and walked to the door. "Enjoy the rest of your morning. You're cute together." With a grin, she left.  
  
Roman and I did in fact enjoy the rest of our morning – twice  – before he had to leave for work.  
I still hadn't figured out what exactly it was that he was doing, but it was probably something important and priest-y. And judging by the way his robes always smelled, a shitton of incense seemed to be involved.  
  
I sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening, when Magic fell around midmorning. Each time Magic fell now, it was as if a weight was lifted from my shoulders. I wondered how long it would take me to adjust to my new level of power.  
I made myself some coffee and finally got around to cutting back the plants to their normal, manageable size. Kali was refusing to leave my side all morning long. Whether she believed herself my protector or my protectee, I didn't know. Didn't matter anyways. It was cute and made my day that much brighter.  
By the time I was finished, I had filled two trashbags with plants. It seemed a shame to throw it all out, so I searched through my books to find if I could do anything with them.  
Turned out I could.   
I felt quite thrifty, when I went downstairs with the clippings. According to my book, I could make a syrup from the devil's ivy that could be used in a variety of spells. The syrup itself was highly poisonous, but if what the book said was true, it would be quite a thing to have at hand if the need arose.

I made the syrup on a hotplate downstairs. After an accident in my early days I had made it a personal policy to not handle poisonous stuff in my actual kitchen upstairs. I had almost killed myself and my grandmother at one point, because I’d gotten distracted while mixing up medicine for a customer.  
The chime of the bells over the door jerked me out of my thoughts and I inwardly congratulated myself for being smart enough to not make the same mistake twice.  
"Good Morning, how can I help you?" I asked, as I walked to the salesroom.  
"Umm… Are you the owner? Volvh Semianovich sent me to give you these." a fidgety teenage boy, dressed all black stood before me and nervously rummaged in a black leather backpack.  
He took a stack of books out of his bag one by one and placed them on my counter.  
"Volvh Semianovich, huh?" I chuckled.  
"Volvh is the word for priest in our cult..." the boy explained.   
"Yes, yes, I know, thank you..." I laughed. “Wow… that’s a lot of books. Must have been heavy to carry."  
"I'm used to it." The boy laughed nervously while slipping his backpack on again. He was gone as quickly as he had arrived.  
I looked through the books and snorted. They ranged from paperbacks with promising titles such as “Mastering your emotions” and “The little book of calm” to older, leatherbound volumes such as “The Almanach of Spells” and two quite mysterious ones with no discernable title that had spells and weird rituals in them. A small black one that looked positively ancient had an odd little mechanism keeping it shut that I couldn’t figure out how to open. I quickly leafed through the spell books, when the hissing of my syrup boiling over called me back to my cooking. I hissed as well, when I touched the lid without a cloth and with a clatter, let the lid fall back. The burn on my hand faded almost as quickly as it appeared. I had to admit this aspect of my newfound power came quite handy to someone like me who was prone to hurting themselfs.  
  
A few hours later, the syrup was done. It looked yellowish and was thick like honey. I had to constantly remind myself not to taste it as I filled the still hot liquid into swing top bottles and quickly closed them up. I labelled each of the six bottles with “Devil’s Ivy Syrup” on the front and added “Do not drink unless you want to die a painful slow death” in smaller letters to the back side of each bottle.  
The few snowflakes that had fallen last night had turned into heavy snowfall by morning and by now, everything outside was white.  
I was glad I didn’t have to go out all day and felt quite privileged to have my own store inside my own house once more. It wasn’t too warm inside, but I wore a thick scarf around my neck and handknit socks from my grandma both of which kept me nice and toasty as I sat in the front room and leafed through the books Romans minion had brought me.  
And then I remembered I had promised Mia to come by at the diner. It was afternoon by now and I wasn’t sure if she was still working, but a quick call to the diner confirmed my fears. She was still there which meant I had to get dressed and go outside after all.  
Mia promised me she’d have a hot chocolate waiting for me when I’d arrive though, so that kinda made up for it.  
I had just slipped on my warm boots, when Roman opened the door.  
Snow was still falling heavily and his black hair was full of tiny, white, slowly melting snowflakes. His ears and nose were red from the cold.  
“I missed you!” I whispered and kissed him on his icy lips.  
“I missed you too.” he said and hugged me close, making sure some of the snowflakes from his hair were landing on my face.  
“Nooo! Cold!” I laughed and pushed him away.  
“Is that a way to greet me?” he faked hurt.  
“Sorry…” I stood on tiptoes and gave him one more quick kiss. “Better?"  
He nodded. “I mean… you probably don’t deserve it, but I wanted to show you something.”  
“Huh? What is it?”  
“Get your jacket and come on outside!” he said mysteriously and walked back out. He left his staff inside my door, which was odd, but I didn't question his choices. He probably didn't need it during Tech. And right now, I was much more preoccupied with what he wanted to show me outside. I quickly slipped on my jacket and went out the door.  
I had only just pulled it closed behind me, when a snowball hit me in the back of my head.  
“What….” I turned around to find a laughing Roman on the other side of the street.  
“Are you friggin serious?” I asked, half laughing and quickly crouched down to dodge another snowball and gather some snow as well.  
“Sorry, it’s just…. I love the snow!” he chuckled and was already forming another snowball with quick hands. He was much better at it than I was. The snow kept crumbling apart in my hands, but what I lacked in skill, I made up for in menace. Running towards him, with handfuls of snow, I simply grabbed him by the back of his jacket and shoved some inside.  
“Huuuuuuh!” he shouted out with cold. “You’re no fun!”  
“I’m a lot of fun, actually!” I laughed, taking one more handful of snow and pushing it straight into his face, while he was still dancing around trying to get rid of the cold inside his clothes.  
“Okay, okay, I’m sorry!” he wiped his face.  
“Yea, you better be!” I said and gently boxed his upper arm.  
“I’m especially sorry for this…” he pushed me backwards into a heap of snow on the sidewalk and broke out in another bout of laughter.  
“You ass!” I tried kicking him as I struggled to get out of the snow. “Help me please!”  
He looked at me warily, before slowly holding out his hand to me. I tried and failed to pull him down to the ground as well, but instead he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.  
Both of us were freezing cold and wet, but it didn’t really matter. The heat from his lips was enough to warm me back up… and then he dumped more snow on top of me and into the back of my coat.  
“You’re such a moment killer.” I shouted at him as I tried to get the snow out of my jacket. “Fuck this is cold!” I jumped around in a circle while lifting the back of my jacket.  
“Wow, Mia didn’t lie when she said you are two birds of a feather.” Dean’s laughter from the door to his garage interrupted my improvised dance performance. He was wearing a short sleeved t-shirt and only half of him was outside.  
“Don’t laugh at me!” I shouted and quickly grabbed some snow to throw at him.  
“Hey!” he hid behind the door just in time.  
I walked towards him, still trying to shake the now mostly molten snow out of my clothes.  
“You never seemed this happy with Sam.” he stated, his voice suddenly void of all humor, but filled with sympathy instead.  
“Yea, because I wasn’t.” I nervously kicked the snow on the ground. “To be honest, I had forgotten how this even felt.”  
Roman had silently followed me and hugged me from behind, pressing my wet, cold clothes to my skin.  
“You seem okay, man.” Dean said, looking Roman in the eye. “Just don’t let Sam see you around. He’ll not feel any sympathy towards you…”  
“Thanks for the warning.” Roman said.  
“We were on our way to see Mia… but I think I’ll have to change into some dry clothes” I elbowed Roman in the ribs. “Do you want to come along after?”  
“Yea, I was on my way there anyways…"  
“See you in ten then.”  
  
Fifteen minutes later, we finally arrived at the Diner.  
Mia was just taking orders from an elderly couple as the three of us entered. The curly haired guy was sitting at the same booth as last time and soft music was playing on the jukebox in the corner.  
We sat down and when Mia finally got around to serving us, she placed a mug of lukewarm cocoa in front of me.  
“What took you so long?” she scolded, her arms on her hips.  
“I’m sorry… Roman got me all wet and I…”  
“Stop! I don’t want to know!” she held up her hand.  
“Noo! Not like that!” Roman tried defending himself.  
“They were playing in the snow… you should have seen them.” Dean chuckled.  
“You? Outside in the snow?” Mia looked at me, disbelievingly. “Wow, you must really be in love.”  
“Don’t…” I blushed, looking down at the table. “I mean… are we?” I said to Roman.  
“Are we? In love you mean?”  
I nodded.  
“Well… I’ll say yes if you do.” he pulled me close and kissed me on the temple… Same as Dean had done with Maria last time. Same as I had wished someone would.  
I leaned against him and sighed deeply contented. "Okay, we are then."   
When Mia asked about our visit at the Witch Oracle, I sighed again. The contentment was gone though.  
“Can you tell them?” I said to Roman, not wanting to think back on that awful revelation. Hard to belive it was only yesterday. So much had happened since then, somehow.  
I stared out the window while he talked, hearing the words, but refusing to really listen to them again. I had shoved those feelings into the vault inside my head and wouldn’t let that story make me feel like shit twice in as many days.  
Everyone was silent when Roman stopped talking. Mia was sitting next to Dean and had a dead grip on his arm. “Ira… that’s awful! Sorry I asked!” she said, taking my hand over the table.  
“It’s okay. I mean… I can’t change it, so… I’ll... I'll just...” I didn’t finish the sentence because I didn't know what I'd do. I didn’t want to worry my friends more than strictly necessary. I’d tell them once I figured things out. Until then, I’d deal with this shit on my own. 


	6. Poison!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone starts attacking Ira's friends.   
> Will she be able to save them all?

Later that same day, I was just about to lock up my store, when Mia limped by outside the window. I hurried to open the door for her and let her in. She was still wearing her yellow waitress uniform and had only pulled her jacket around her shoulders, without putting her arms through the sleeves.  
Snow had started falling again outside and I saw she had left a bloody trail on the snow covered ground.  
„Hey what’s happened with you?“ I asked, concern filling my voice. Her shapeshifter healing should take care of anything that made her limp way before she could make it from the Diner to my place.  
„Something bit me…” she murmured. „It won’t stop bleeding! Can you do your magic thing?”  
„I would, if Magic was up… come on, let’s get you upstairs, I’ll have a look anyways.”  
I helped her get up the stairs and made her sit down on the sofa. „Put your leg up here.” I said, indicating the coffee table.  
I had carried the books Roman’s minion had brought earlier upstairs to have a proper look through later that evening. Now I shoved them aside to make space for her.  
She had wrapped a piece of cloth around her ankle, but it was completely soaked with blood. Not good.  
„Are you feeling okay? Not drowsy or anything?” I asked her and quickly got a few old towels from the bathroom to soak up the still flowing blood.  
Mia leaned back on the sofa and closed her eyes. „Well now that you mention it… I feel like I might puke… And I got a terrible headache.”  
I quickly turned around and got a bucket from my cleaning closet as well.  
Kali had been sleeping in the bathroom and had followed me back into the living room. She jumped on the table and sniffed Mia’s leg, licked some of the blood and hissed.  
“Shoo! Don’t bother her!” I shoved the cat off the table and bent down to look at the wound. Four neat little bite holes sat at the very bottom of her calf. A slight greyish tint surrounded the wound and it hadn’t even started to close. Her accelerated healing should have made short work of such a tiny bite, but it obviously didn’t. The greyish tint around the wound was Lyc-V dying. I wasn’t much of an expert on shapeshifters, but this wasn’t good.  
“How did this happen?” I asked, wrapping a towel around her ankle and pressing on it. I figured, since Lyc-V was dying off I’d treat her like I would a human, which meant I had to stop the blood flow, and quick.  
“I went to take out the trash at the diner and there was an animal… It looked like a raccoon, but it was much bigger… and it smelled all wrong. I shooed it away, but it just stared at me with its huge yellow eyes… oww! This hurts!” she interrupted herself as I shifted my grip on her ankle.  
“Sorry… gotta stop the bleeding.”  
“Be gentle! This is my first time ever at a healers’.” she half joked.  
“Did you notice by any chance if that raccoon had a tail? I think I might know that particular specimen…”  
“Actually… I think it didn’t.” Mia said.  
“Fuck…” I cursed.  
“Why? What is it?”  
“That raccoon is someone’s familiar. It’s been spying on me for god knows how long. But it never attacked anyone so far.”  
Mia was quiet. Her face looked kinda greenish.  
“Do you need the bucket?” I pointed towards it on the ground. I couldn’t let go of her leg just yet.  
She bent over and emptied the contents of her stomach into it noisily.  
“Here.” I handed her a paper towel while still holding on to her ankle. The towel I was pressing against her leg was almost soaked through. Why didn’t the bleeding stop? Why couldn’t Magic be up when I needed it? With my new powers, I’d set her right in a second. Fuck!  
“How do you feel now?” I asked.  
“My leg is feeling kinda numb… Ira, this is scary.”  
“Don’t be scared. I’ll fix you up.” I whispered, wishing I could hug her. I’d kill this fucking raccoon next time I saw it. “Can you maybe knock on the wall so Dean’ll come over?” I asked.  
She lifted her arm weakly and bumped against the wall twice, before bending back over the bucket and puking some more.  
“Is this what being sick feels like?” she asked, wiping her face again.  
I nodded slowly, mortified about how bad she felt and how unable I was to help her.  
When I heard the chimes downstairs, I let out a sigh of relief. “Dean? Come quick! We need your help!”  
I heard heavy footsteps come up the stairs. “Can you hold this?” I said, not bothering to turn around. ”I need to check my books for what to do!”  
“Yes, sure!” Sam said.  
I froze.  
“Dean isn’t home.” he murmured. “I figured I’d see what you wanted.“  
“Thank you…” I croaked. “Here… hold this please!”  
Without having to be asked twice, he took over pressing the towel to Mia’s leg, both of us careful not to touch the other as we switched places.  
I pulled a few of my grandma’s healing books out of the shelf and put them on my desk. I knew there was a chapter on shapeshifters in one of them, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember which one it was. And then, on top of it all, I felt Magic drown me. My breath hitched in my throat and I was glad I was sitting down. Mia sighed as well.  
“Are you okay?” I asked, running to her as soon as I could stand up again. Slowly the feylanterns on the walls came to life one by one.  
“Yea… feeling a bit better.” she whispered.  
“Any change on the bleeding?” I asked Sam.  
He carefully checked but shook his head. “This is bleeding way too much. How long has this been going on?” he asked, looking at the blood soaked rags on the floor.  
“Too long.” I murmured. “Let me try something…” I prayed to all the gods as I carefully touched Mia’s leg just below the knee. Immediately, the familiar electric spark travelled between us and Mia gasped. “What did you just do?” she asked, voice breathless.  
“Trying to use my power on you. How do you feel?”  
“I… still can’t feel my leg, but the headache and nausea is gone.” she said.  
“Okay, that’s something. How are we on the bleeding, Sam?”  
Sam lifted the cloth the tiniest bit and sighed in relief. “It’s slowing down.” he announced.  
“Okay, good… “  
“Ira, thank you so much!”  
“Don’t thank me just yet…” I murmured, worriedly looking at her leg.  
The grey that had surrounded the bite marks was spreading upwards from her ankle.  
“Oh no!” Sam said, when he realized what was happening. The poison was spreading through her body and killing off Lyc-V.  
I quickly grabbed a kitchen towel and wrapped it around her leg, just below the knee. “No you won’t, fucker!” I murmured, as I pulled it tight.  
I knotted it closed, cutting off the bloodstream to her leg. Okay, time was ticking now. I had to find an antidote and quick or she’d loose her leg. And if the stump on my hand was any indication, I couldn’t regrow limbs with my magic.  
I hurried back to my books and started searching for a universal antidote, since I didn’t know what kind of poison that nasty raccoon had injected her with.  
“Fuck Fuck Fuck!” I murmured, leafing through the pages. I knew I had seen some kind of powerful antidote somewhere not long ago. Where was it though? “Shit.”  
Sam and Mia were talking in low voices. I couldn’t make out their words, but I figured everything was okay, as long as their tone remained calm.  
Then it came to me. I had seen the antidote while leafing through the books Roman had given me.  
I grabbed the biggest of them and started looking through it, kneeling on the floor next to Sam and Mia.  
“Yes! Give me…. ten minutes.” I said and got up, hugging the open book to my chest.  
I stopped at the top of the stairs, “Sam, can you set up a containment ward? Big enough for Mia and me to fit in it. Chalk is in the kitchen.”  
For once, I was happy Sam was a trained knight. He’d know what to do and I trusted him to do it properly.  
I mixed up all the ingredients over my gas burner downstairs and stirred them together with the stone stirrer thingie Roman had given me.  
It was a crumbly powder and the book said to put it on the affected area and set it on fire while chanting a spell. This seemed like some next level shit, but I figured if I did it inside the ward, nothing much could happen… right?  
I pushed the fact that my powers were much stronger than before and that I couldn’t yet quite control them aside for later. I had managed to heal Mia’s nausea and headache without killing her after all. Small victories!  
When I came back upstairs, balancing the book and the bowl on top of each other, Mia was walking around the room, holding on to Sam’s arm, carefully testing her leg.  
“I think your magic fixed me!” she shouted excitedly.  
I quickly put the book and bowl on the kitchen table and went down on my knees to examine her leg.  
The grey streaks were gone, the wound was scabbed over. “Looks like it!” I sent a silent thanks to the gods.  
“Good thing too… I really wasn’t sure if that spell was okay to do.” I admitted.  
And then the chimes downstairs announced another visitor.  
“Ira?” Roman shouted. He had run off after our visit at the Diner to get a change of dry clothes. “That weird mousecoon we saw the other day just bit me.”  
I felt the blood rush from my face. Fuck.  
“Damn this is bleeding a lot.” I heard him say downstairs.  
I dashed to the top of the stairs before stopping myself again. “Please don’t give him a hard time.” I said to Sam, and then hurried on downstairs to help Roman.  
He was the same as Mia. Bleeding a lot, feeling nauseous and dizzy. And even though he wasn’t a shapeshifter and didn’t have any Lyc-V in him, he was showing grey streaks going up from his ankle towards his knee.  
We sat him down on the sofa and I sent the same jolt of magic in him as I had done with Mia. The only difference was… he didn’t feel better at all after I had done it. The bitemarks closed up, yes, but that was about the only thing my magic had achieved.

“Fuck, this headache is killing me.” He mumbled, laying on the couch, shading his eyes with his hand.  
Sam and Mia were walking up and down the room nervously. There wasn’t anything they could do. Same as me… except for that spell I had prepared for Mia.  
“Sam, can you finish that circle?” I asked, holding Roman’s hand. He was swimming in and out of consciousness and his body was covered in sweat. Fuck.  
I wished I could ask him for advice, but whenever he surfaced back from unconsciousness, he seemed confused and was talking a weird mixture of English and Russian. I had thought I’d felt awful and helpless with Mia, but compared to this, before had been a walk in the parl. I was desperate. Obviously, it hadn’t been my magic that had saved Mia, but Lyc-V and its healing powers.  
Sam was crawling on the floor on hands and knees, drawing runes like his life depended on it, while I was kneeling next to the sofa with the semiconscious Roman.  
His body was hot with fever and Mia and I were trying to cool him down with cold wet cloths.  
We had stripped him of his pants and robes so we could keep an eye of the grey lines that were rapidly spreading up his leg. They had reached his hip by now.  
“Roman… can you hear me? Stay with me!” I whispered, fighting hard to keep my voice steady.  
“Done.” Sam announced from behind us and stood up.  
I looked at his handiwork and was satisfied. “Can you help me put him inside?”  
“Yea yea… get your pipe, I’ll manage.” he said and picked Roman up from the sofa. He carried him the short distance almost effortlessly. Only now I realized how tiny Roman seemed compared to Sam. Mia put a blanket on the ground so he wouldn’t have to lie on the cold floor unprotected.  
Once Sam put Roman inside the circle, I lit the sage filled pipe and walked the circle, puffing out smoke as I moved.  
Roman was shivering, his eyes fluttering open every now and then. Fuck! His lower leg was almost completely grey and the first trails were spreading up his thigh. We had made a ligation at the top of his leg and it seemed to work to stop the discoloration from spreading upwards any farther. I didn’t want to think about what would happen if it reached his stomach and inner organs.  
I swallowed down my fear as I sat inside the circle cross legged, feeling the circle snap shut around us. Everything that happened outside the circle was toned down. I could hear Mia and Sam talk, but they seemed dull and colorless, like an old, faded picture.  
Concentrating on the task at hand, I spread the powder on Roman’s leg, as the book indicated.  
Reading through the words once more, I started chanting as I struck a match and lit the powder on fire at his thigh.  
Roman stirred, but didn’t move too much, thankfully. My heart was racing as I was repeating the words over and over.  
The powder lit up in one second and expired the next. The magic around us was almost palpable, and I felt it flow from my body into his with every word I spoke. I touched him at the hip once more and sent another spark of healing magic into him, but the greying didn’t go away. Why didn’t it go away? I shivered, as I felt the spell burn out. I had done everything I could and it wasn’t enough. Really? I read through the spell again. I must have made a mistake somewhere. What should I do now? I felt like I couldn’t get enough air and my breathing became faster and faster, before I got a grip on myself again.  
Slow down Ira. Think. I told myself. Consciously taking deep breaths helped me think clear again. I’d take him to the temple. There had to be someone there who could help him and if they couldn’t, his god would protect him, right? He had to.  
I wiped away a part of the chalk line and broke the ward. The rest of the world was suddenly there again.  
“Did it work?” Mia asked, her voice filled with worry.  
I shook my head. “I have to bring him to the temple.”  
“We’ll take my car.” Sam said. “Come on.”  
We wrapped Roman up in his robes again. When Sam carried him out the door, tears threatened to come again, but I suppressed them. Now was not the time for crying. I had more important stuff to do.  
I half sat under Roman in the back of the car. Mia and Sam were riding in the front. Despite the snow, Sam drove like hellhounds were at our heels.  
The cold was waking Roman up a bit and he was mostly conscious for now. Or maybe my magic had done something to him after all. Didn’t matter what it was.  
“How do you feel?” I asked, as he opened his eyes.  
“I can’t feel the lower half of my body…” he murmured. “What’s happening? Where are we?” he looked around the car in confusion.  
“We’re taking you to the temple. They’ll have to fix you up. They will, right?”  
His body was cooler than before, but he was still sweating. “I…. don’t know.” he said and fear was written all over his face.  
“It will be okay! You will be okay.” I tried calming him down.  
“I… if I don’t make it… I just want you to know that I love you. Always have, since I first met you.” he whispered. The car swerved a bit. Sam had obviously heard him.  
“Yea, I know dumbass! No need to get all dramatic now!” I bent down and kissed his forehead. He gripped my hand weakly and then he was unconscious again.

The rest of the ride was silent except for Roman’s heavy breathing.  
Fortunately we didn’t have to go very far. The temple was on top of a hill, at the other end of unicorn. It looked kinda Greek. Where Greek temples had white pillars though, this one was all black. And where a Greek temple would have white statues of athletes, this one had darkish, bloody paintings all over the walls. So much for Chernobog not being the bad guy. The whole building had a whitish aura around it, which meant divine magic. There were so many holy objects inside, I staggered for a second, when I took the view all in, then I rushed on forward. I prayed there would be someone who could help Roman.  
Sam was carrying his limp body and I was immensely thankful for that. It must feel so shitty after what I had done to him. But he was bigger than that. He was Sam after all. Saving people was what he did.  
An old short guy with long white hair greeted us. He looked kinda frail in a way that made you want to sit him down in a rocking chair and wrap him in a blanket. He wore the same robes as Roman, so I assumed he was a priest.  
“You need to help us!” I said, not bothering with introductions.  
Recognition lit up the older man’s face as he saw Roman.  
“What has happened to him?” he said with a heavy accent.  
“He was poisoned. Please, you have to help him!” I repeated.  
“Yes, yes, bring him inside.” he motioned for Sam to follow him. “The womenfolk will have to stay here. There are no women allowed into our inner sanctum.”  
My face fell. What the actual fuck? Well, didn’t matter now. I had to trust his god to take care of him, whether I was with him or not. Still, a sigh escaped my throat, when the trio vanished behind a thick metal door.  
“He will be okay.” Mia took my hand, trying to comfort me.  
“What if he won’t be?” I asked, fighting and failing to hide how I felt.  
“He will.” she hugged me.  
We remained standing in front of the altar. The wailing of the icy wind outside sounded eerily like someone screaming in the big hall of the temple. I walked up and down for a while before falling to my knees in front of the altar, praying for Roman to become well again. Mia remained standing a short distance behind me.  
I was deep in prayer, when she suddenly touched my shoulder what seemed like an eternity later. Sam was back. I hadn’t even noticed him come out of the door.  
“Is he okay?” I asked, getting up from my knees.  
Sam’s face looked grim.  
“What is it?” I grabbed his arm.  
“He’s in a coma…” he whispered.  
“But… were they able to stop the grey?”  
“Yes, but he’s weak. They don’t know if he’ll survive the night.”  
I abruptly let go of him and took a step backwards. “Are you serious? Can’t I see him? Maybe I can fix him!”  
“Women have to be purified before they’re allowed into the inner sanctum.”  
“What a bullshit religion! Don’t they see that we don’t have time for that?” I murmured, kicking one of the pillars.  
I knew I had to help Roman somehow. I would do everything, if it meant I’d get to hear his laugh again.

We went home since no one was bothering to talk to us anymore, but in my head, a plan was forming. With Magic still up and my new amazing powers, there had to be something I could do.  
Mia and Sam went to their place, after I assured them that I was okay with being alone for now.  
I made it upstairs and immediately went to my bookshelves. I pulled out one of the oldest ones and sat down with it on the sofa. Someone, probably Mia, had managed to clean up most of the mess in my living room.  
I put the book on my crossed legs, when my gaze fell upon the little black one that I hadn’t been able to open before. The locking mechanism was smeared with someone’s blood, but it was open.  
I took it and started leafing through it. The pages felt odd. Not like paper at all. It took some effort, not to think about what they might be made of, as I leafed through it.  
All of the pages except for one were blank. It was almost eerie how perfect the one spell seemed to fit what I was looking for. And as I looked through the ingredients, I noticed that I had every single one downstairs, even the Devil’s ivy Syrup.  
I shook my head doubtful. This couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?  
After checking the other pages again, I decided that I didn’t care. The spell was for bringing someone back from the brink of death. And that was exactly what I needed. As I read through the ritual and flipped the page, I stopped. There was a human sacrifice involved. I couldn’t do that. Or could I?  
Under ordinary circumstances that would have thrown me off, but I was desperate. I needed to save Roman. Nothing else mattered.  
It was late, but I wasn’t feeling tired at all. Exhausted, yes, but not tired.  
Five minutes later, I went outside.  
People were often talking about having tunnel vision, when they were in a desperate situation. That’s what I was experiencing now. Nothing but the thought of Roman mattered; how sick he had looked in that last moment when Sam carried him off. Fuck! I couldn’t afford to cry now!  
I walked through the small alley towards the back of my house. I knew there was a homeless guy living somewhere back there. I had brought him a blanket and some food last week, not wanting him to suffer. But right now, I didn’t give a shit.  
And really, living on the street during winter… what kind of life was that anyways? Me killing him off would be a mercy, right? I would actually put him out of his misery, if I killed him.  
I found him after walking through silent streets for ten minutes. There he was, sleeping under my blanket and a trash bag. What a life. I could smell the piss all around him before I even made it all the way to him. Yes, killing him really would be a mercy.  
My heart raced, as I kneeled down next to him. He was so drunk, he didn’t even stir when I pulled away his shawl with shaking fingers. Fuck he smelled disgusting. Yes, death would be a release for him. A life like that was no life at all.  
I had brought a few dishes and my machete and I put the bigger dish under his throat now. Whether I was shivering from cold or from fear, I didn’t know, but it didn’t matter. Without hesitating, I put my machete against his skin and cut his neck. Blood squirted out of his aorta, coating my ice cold fingers.  
It was warm, almost hot in comparison to the cold air. And it felt… good. Images of me bathing in warm, fresh blood flashed before my mind. The feeling was almost orgasmic and when I started shivering again, it was not from cold. A moan escaped my lips as I watched steam rise from my bowl, where the hot blood gathered. I pulled the knife away and let it fall to the side, as my hands curled into fists.  
How long did it take a man to bleed out? I didn’t know and I had lost all sense of time anyways. When the blood flow slowed down, I pulled my bowl away. I needed the first blood from a kill and the last. I put a smaller dish under the cut and watched. It was almost hypnotic.  
When the trickle stopped, I wiped his neck with a tissue and pulled the scarf back up. He had died and no one was any wiser about it. With the cold, it could be weeks until his body started smelling.  
I put a lid onto the small bowl and packed everything back up, before I made my way back home. The silence was undisturbed and I had what I needed.  
Compared to getting the blood, the rest of the potion was ridiculously uneventful. I quickly mixed it up and filled into two flasks, as the book stated.  
Now I had to act fast. The blood couldn’t be more than 3 hours old or the spell wouldn’t work.  
I made my way to the temple in record time; wrapped in my dark coat, hood on my head, trying to remain in the shadows. Just one more dark shape that moved in the darkness. It must have been two or three in the morning by now and no one was at the temple anymore, when I arrived. I opened the big doors just enough so I could slip inside.  
A single candle was burning in front of the altar, but it illuminated the room enough for me to navigate.  
I hurried to the dark door to the left of the altar, where the priest had led Sam and Roman only hours earlier.  
Against all hope, it was locked. Fuck.  
I had been quite into bad boys during my teenage years and they had shown me how to pick a lock of course, but I had never done it often enough to get really good at it. One of my former lovers had given me a set of lock picks though, which I had found ridiculous at that time, but it would serve me just fine now.  
The lock was an old fashioned one, the kind that demanded ridiculously large keys to turn. Looking through it showed only darkness on the other side.  
I managed to get the shaking from my hands down to a minimum and inserted the first pick. After some jiggling I felt a part of the lock give. That was a good thing as far as I remembered, so I continued in the same way and after about two or three minutes the door snapped open.  
I hadn’t brought a flashlight. It would be useless during magic anyways, so I took one of the candles from the altar from their holder and lit it on the single burning one. This was probably a huge sacrilege, but I figured, since I was trying to fix one of his priests, Chernobog wouldn’t mind.  
The candle light showed a long straight corridor before me. There seemed to be a spiral staircase at the end of it.  
Despite trying to step lightly, I felt like the sound of my footsteps would wake up everyone in the building. I wondered if I should take off my boots, but decided against it. I didn’t want any unsuspecting inhabitant finding a pair of stray boots on their way to go pray.  
The much more important thing to worry about now was whether to go up or down once I reached the staircase though.  
I inwardly scolded myself for not having taken some time to make a search charm to find Roman.  
But scolding wouldn’t help me find him. Following a hunch, I went upstairs with a shrug.  
I thought over the spell in my head again as I climbed the stairs, tracing the symbols in the air before me, as I walked.  
I’d have to draw one symbol on my chest and another on Roman’s with the potions I had made. First blood for him, last blood for me.  
When I reached the end of the staircase, a corridor that looked kinda like I imagined a boarding home would look like, was before me. If the walking in circles on the staircase hadn’t confused my sense of orientation this would be above the area behind the altar of the temple.  
Okay, seemed like this were the priest’s quarters or something. But the old guy had talked something about putting Roman into the Inner Sanctum, right?  
Open the doors and check or go back downstairs? Decisions, Decisions. I nervously let my fingers dance on my thigh.  
Okay, I’d check one of the doors and then go from there, I quickly made up my mind.  
Taking a deep breath, I put my hand on a door to my right. Slowly, oh so slowly I pushed the old fashioned handle down… only to find out the door was locked. Great.  
“Fuck this!” I mumbled and turned around. Roman was probably not here anyways. This didn’t feel right.  
Images of how broken and small he had looked when we had brought him here flashed before my inner eye, as I hurried downstairs and past the corridor I had come in through. Worry flooded my brain and drowned out almost everything else.  
I really had to find him. Time was ticking. Focus Ira, Focus!  
What if there was some residue from my healing magic on him? I should be able to find that, right?  
When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I stopped for a second and tried feeling for my own magic. I thought there was a tiny spark of it somewhere to my right. It was weak, and maybe I imagined it, but since this was the only direction I had, I followed it.  
This area seemed more like what I’d call an Inner Sanctum than the upstairs though. A big room with a high, vaulted ceiling lay before me. Three candles were burning on a small altar and Incense smokers, placed along the walls, filled the cool air with their scent. Alcoves lined the right and left side of the room. Curtains hid what was inside them, but I thought I heard someone breathing behind the one on the right side.  
Please be Roman, please be Roman! I closed my eyes for a second and sent another quick prayer to the gods.  
Only when I moved closer did I realize that there was someone speaking. Low and under their breath, but speaking nonetheless. This meant that probably wasn’t Roman behind that curtain. Or at least he wasn’t alone.  
Yet, it felt like my magic was exactly where the noise was coming from.  
I sneaked there and lifted the curtain the tiniest bit.  
And there he was! Roman! My knees went weak with happiness for a second. Another priest was sitting on a low stool next to his cot and murmuring prayers over him.  
The priest, thankfully, was with his back to me and probably half asleep or he would have heard me come in. I’d have to knock him out to get to Roman. He seemed old and weakish looking anyways. This couldn’t be hard. I could do this. For Roman!  
I pulled the curtain away some more and sneaked up behind the old man.  
Without thinking, I put my arm around his neck and locked him in a chokehold.  
When my fingers touched his skin, an electric spark travelled between us and he went limp in my arms. Carefully, I let him sink down to the ground. Okay, so much for using my mad martial arts skills for knocking him out.  
I quickly stepped over him and towards Roman.  
Looking at him lying there almost brought tears to my eyes. His face had a pained look to it and every part of his skin I could see seemed ashen. Not quite greyish, but definitely not healthy looking.  
A thin, rough woven blanket lay over his limp body. I touched his forehead and he was cool to the touch. Was I too late? No… his chest heaved and sank with his breath. Okay, good.  
He was wearing his robes still and I quickly unbuttoned them, cursing when I found he wore a t-shirt underneath.  
Didn’t matter. I ripped the fabric apart, not bothering with properly undressing him. I didn’t have time for that. I also didn’t have time for setting up a proper containment ward, but temples usually had their own wards anyways.  
Taking the first flask from my pocket, the one with the potion with the first blood from a kill, I unscrewed it and poured some of the liquid on my hand. My heart was beating fast again, as I drew the symbol on his ashen chest.  
I wiped my hands on a rag I had brought and shrugged out of my coat. I needed to draw on my own chest now. Quickly, I unbuttoned my blouse and drew the same symbol on my chest, with the potion from the other flask.  
“Damn!” I murmured, when I felt the Magic starting to flow. I steadied myself against the wall for a moment, leaving bloody fingerprints, but I couldn’t care less about those. This seemed to be working.  
I kneeled down next to the cot and put my hand against Roman’s chest. A small grin appeared on my face, when I realized how cold my fingers were. He’d hate this.  
Hoping I had memorized the words right, I started chanting. Except for my hand warming up, nothing was happening though. I started to worry, but finished the incantation anyways. And with the last of my words, Roman took a deep breath and opened his eyes.  
I wanted to cry with joy, as he looked at me. He seemed utterly confused, but he was awake. Color was returning to his face, as he looked around the room.  
“What… what are you doing here?” His voice was creaky, but he was awake. That was all that counted.  
I pulled him into a hug. “You can’t believe how happy I am!”  
“What… Why am I here? Why are you here?” he was returning the hug weakly.  
“You almost died. Gods, I was so worried! How do you feel?” I let go of him and looked him in the face.  
“I… confused mostly.” he admitted. “How can you be in here?”  
“I might have had to pick a lock or two... doesn’t matter!” I tried waving him off.  
“It does matter! Women can’t be in here without doing the proper rites.”  
“Well obviously, we can…” I said, slowly getting annoyed with him.  
“Please tell me you did at least a cleaning ritual before you came in here.” his voice had an urgent undertone.  
“Umm… I had a shower this morning… I think…” I frowned at him. He didn’t usually give a shit about the rules. Why was he acting so weird now?  
“You really can’t be here. Did anyone see you?”  
“Of course not! I’m not an idiot.” I shook my head at him.  
“Okay, thank you for saving me, but you really have to leave.”  
I didn't know he could be that serious. “What the fuck?”  
“And stop cursing in here. This is the most sacred space of this temple.”  
All the happiness I had felt a minute ago vanished. Was he serious? I got up from my knees and looked down at him. This was not how I had expected this moment to turn out.  
“Well, I’m sorry for breaking your stupid rules. I hope next time your high and mighty purity loving god will save you, because this time, he did a metric shitton of nothing!”  
Before he could say anything more, I took my coat, turned around and left.


	7. getting rid of dead bodies and other romantic things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ira feels shitty after everything that has happened in the last chapter. And no wonder. But Roman supports her through thick and thin and together they manage to somewhat clean up her mistake.

When I woke up the next afternoon, everything that had happened yesterday felt like a dream. Had Mia and Roman really been bitten by that weird animal? Had Roman really almost died?  
I groaned sleepily as I tried to make sense of things.  
When I rolled to my side in bed and flakes of dried blood crumbled from my skin, one thing stood out starkly from everything else though. I had killed a man.  
In one second I was wide awake. The thought of a dead man's blood on my skin made me nauseous and I quickly made it to my feet. So quickly, that stars were dancing around my field of vision for a moment.  
When I had come home last night, I had been too tired to have a shower or even change clothes. The bloodstained pair of jeans I had worn, was on the ground, but I was still wearing the soiled blouse.  
Fuck this was disgusting.  
I said a silent prayer of thanks for Tech being up as I went to the bathroom, stripping on the way. I turned on the water as hot as I could bear it and stepped under the spray, scrubbing every inch of my body with a peeling glove until my skin was all red and raw. I still felt disgusting and dirty, so I scrubbed some more, all while trying to block out the images of the dead body that kept on flashing before my inner eye.  
Even after I got out of the shower, I kept on rubbing my arms and chest still feeling dirty and unclean. And all that because of Roman... who hadn't even seemed thankful for what I had done. What a prick!  
I put my dirty clothes and the bedsheets in the washing machine to get rid of any remaining traces. My work room downstairs got a proper cleaning too and only when my hands were raw and red from scrubbing every surface with bleach did I feel calm enough to sit down for a moment.  
What had I gotten myself into?  
I startled when the phone started ringing. My heart was racing for no reason.  
Nervously rubbing my arms, I went to pick it up.  
"Ira, it's me." Roman said.  
"What do you want? Don’t you have some purifying to do?" After what had happened last night, I really didn't want to talk to him.  
"Can you come to the temple? We need to talk." his voice had an urgent undertone.  
"Sorry, I'm pretty busy today."  
"Ira..." his voice got lower and it sounded as if he was covering the receiver when he talked again. "Whose blood is that on my chest?"  
I froze. Of course he'd want to know. Fuck!  
"I'll be there in an hour." I hung up without waiting for his reply.  
Receiver still in hand, I remained standing next to the phone and bumped my head against the wall a few times. This was such a damn mess.  
  
When I looked up again, Sam was standing outside the door, waving to be let in.  
Couldn't I catch a break?  
I slowly walked towards the door, my thoughts racing. Had I cleaned up everything? He was a knight after all and he probably wouldn't look too kindly on me killing people. Fuck fuck fuck! I wanted to cry, but somehow managed to make a brave face as I turned the key.  
An icy gust of wind blew inside, as he quickly slipped through the door. It was snowing again and snowcrystals were glistening in his hair and on his shoulders.  
"Hi... umm... I just wanted to know how you're holding up. Any news from Roman?" he asked.  
The urge to cry became almost irresistible and I turned away from him, blinking a few times.  
"Hey, are you okay?" he softly put his hand on my shoulder, concern filling his voice.  
"Yes, yes… It’s just... How can you be so nice? I mean... You should hate me! But here you are, asking how I am... how my new lover is..." I stared at the ground; I couldn't bear looking at him.  
"Well... I mean..." he nervously let his fingers glide through his hair.  
"He called earlier. He's up and alright. They fixed him." I said, not wanting to make him uncomfortable.  
"They did? Good! That's good!"  
"Yes..." I whispered.  
He cleared his throat. "Well... I'll be off then. Tell me if you need anything." He turned around and went on his way.

 

Ten minutes later, I was on my way to the temple, on foot. It was snowing heavily and noone was bothering to plow the roads anymore. A thick blanket of almost undisturbed snow covered everything. I walked in another set of footsteps from someone who had been brave or stupid enough to brace the snowy roads before me. It made getting forward somewhat easier, but not much.  
It was starting to get dark already. I had slept until afternoon. No wonder. Last night had been exhausting.

 

By the time the temple appeared before me in all its black marbled glory, I was breathing heavily. It stood out starkly against the glistening snow. The contrast was so strong, it seemed almost unreal.  
Someone had swept the stone steps that led up to the entrance not too long ago, but a thin blanket of snow was already settling on them them again.  
Upon entering, I saw the teenage boy that had brought me the books a few days earlier. He was up on the altar, rearranging the candle holders. The one candle I had used last night was noticeably shorter than the others.  
I swallowed nervously and cleared my throat before speaking."Hi! I'm here for Roman. Volvh Semionovich. Is he around?"  
"Yes. He is expecting you. I will get him at once." the boy said, quickly climbing down from the altar and vanishing through the forbidden door.  
In the light of the dying day I could make out the big painting on the back of the altar for the first time. It filled the wall all the way from floor to ceiling and it was a pretty high wall. There was an orgy going on at the bottom of it and bloody, grizly scenes of murder and torture farther up, with what seemed like a human sacrifice at the very top. What a nice religion.  
There was one worshipper kneeling right in front of the altar, another one was silently sitting on a bench to my left. Both wore thick jackets and scarves and their breath condensed to clouds in front of their mouths whenever they exhaled.  
I sat down on the only free bench to the right of the altar, straight opposite the other worshipper and closed my eyes while I waited.

„You look tired.“ Roman suddenly said. I opened my eyes and found him sitting right next to me.  
“Yea well... working heavy duty magic all night long for an ungrateful ass will do that to anyone.“ I murmured.  
“Come on, let’s go somewhere more private.” he ignored my snarky remark and limped towards a door to the right of the altar. Seemed like he wasn’t all healed up just yet. Well, served him right.  
“So there’s women allowed in there?” I asked as he held the door open for me.  
Again he didn’t reply, but closed the door and continued walking. There was a similar corridor as on the other side, but this one didn’t have a staircase at the end. Instead, we entered a small chamber with nothing but a wooden table and a set of chairs in it. The white walls were covered in paintings of what I assumed to be Chernobog. A few of the paintings showed him as a big black monster with firy eyes and leathery wings, a few times he was shown as a human with severed, bloody heads dangling from his hands or lying by his feet.  
Cold light fell through a small old fashioned window that looked like it had been painted shut years ago. There were frost flowers on the thin glass. It probably was as cold in here as it was outside. I hugged myself to keep me warm.  
“Okay, first I wanted to apologize for the way I reacted yesterday.” Roman said without much ado, as he turned towards me. He seemed unfazed by the temperature. “My brothers told me they were speaking the last rites over me last night, because they were sure I was a goner. Whatever it was that you did, you saved my life.”  
“Yea, tell me something new.” I crossed my arms under my breasts.  
“Secondly, and this is really important.” he continued, ignoring my pouting. “You can never again go into the Inner Sanctum without the proper rites.”  
“Jeez, I didn’t know you were such a sucker for the rules.”  
“Yea well, I’m a Volvh. Believe it or not, but in order to have my powers, I have to follow some rules around here.”  
“Okay, good. I won’t go into the Inner Sanctum again, dirty whore that I am.” I pouted some more.  
“Don’t talk like that… you know this turns me on.” a small smile appeared around his mouth and he pursed his lips, trying to hide it.  
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop myself from smiling as well.  
“And thirdly,“ he quickly became serious again, “where did you get the blood?”  
“Are you sure you want to know?” the smile died on my face.  
“It was human blood, right?” he said.  
I nodded.  
“Yours?”  
I shook my head.  
“Is… the donor still alive?”  
I swallowed before looking at him and giving a tiny shake of my head.  
“Did you…” he didn’t finish the question. And he didn’t have to.  
I nodded.  
“Was it your first time?”  
I nodded again. “First and last.”  
“Yeah, people always say that after their first…” he seemed slightly amused. How could he be amused in a situation like that?  
I wordlessly grimaced at him, disbelief clearly showing on my face.  
“Well… do you think those pictures are purely decorative?” he motioned around the room.  
I froze. “I… thought it was just art. Weird, creepy art.”  
Roman hugged me. “Well… its not. What you did, it’s okay. I can only imagine how you must feel, but I promise you, you did good. Thank you.” he said, before placing a kiss on my forehead.  
I sighed and the tension I hadn’t realized had been there left my shoulders. I hadn’t expected him to react like that. I sure knew Sam wouldn’t be quite so understanding in the same situation. Nobody else would probably be. And I couldn’t really blame them. But Roman was. He found the right words to make me feel better and I was immensely thankful for that.

“How do you not freeze to death living here?” I asked after a while. I felt the cold seep through my coat.  
“You get used to it,” he said, “but to be honest, I much prefer sleeping at your place. Resting against your warm, soft bosom…”  
“My bosom?” I laughed.  
“Yea…” he started pulling down the zipper on my jacket.  
“No no no! Its way too cold here. You can see my bosom in a place that doesn’t have frost flowers on the windows.” I pulled his hand away. “Tonight.” I winked.  
“I’m looking forward to that.”

 

Roman promised he'd come by later that afternoon.  
I walked home through the snow again. Everything was covered in a thick blanket of white. My footprints from earlier were blown over by the wind. Most people chose to remain indoors and everything was blessedly calm.  
It had stopped snowing for now and a few rays of sun glimpsed through the thick cloud cover. The snow crunched under my boots with every step I took.  
By the time I was home, about 20 minutes later, I was exhausted and my toes were frozen solid.  
I went upstairs and put some wood into the heater, then sat down on the sofa with a blanket around my shoulders and put on a pair of thick socks.  
Boy immediately jumped up next to me and buried himself under the blanket.  
I dropped to the side and wrapped myself around my very own purring space heater, dozing off almost as soon as my head hit the cushion.

 

An indefinite amount of time later I was woken up by someone pounding on the door downstairs. It had gotten dark outside and Magic was back up.  
Groggily I made it to my feet and padded downstairs with the blanket wrapped around my shoulders.  
Mia's coworker Eliza was standing outside. Her face looked paler than usual and her eyes were huge and filled with terror. I didn't particularly like her, she talked way too much bullshit for my liking, but she looked so shaken, I had to help her.  
"Ira! Please please please I need to use your phone! Something awful has happened!" she immediately hit me with a flow of words when I opened the door.  
"Yes, of course. What is it?"  
"I... I... I can't!” She was in hysterics. Tears were glittering in her eyes.  
"It’s okay! Shhh… Come on, sit down. I'll make you a cup of tea." I said in what I hoped was a calming way and led her to the chair behind my counter. She wore a thick jacket, but I still wrapped my blanket around her. She was shivering. Whether it was with fear or with cold, I didn’t know.  
She sat down, breathing heavily and I wordlessly placed a box of tissues next to her.  
“Take a deep breath." I said, breathing with her. "And another one.”  
"Sorry, I need a minute." she was on the verge of tears, but seemed to be getting a bit calmer.  
"Take all the time you need." I said, gently patting her back.  
I left her for a moment and went into my back room to put the kettle on the small gas burner. I could hear her breathing deeply in the front room. Good. She was calming down.  
I waited for the water to start boiling and as soon as it did, made her tea with honey.  
On my way back to her, an image of myself kneeling over her dead body suddenly flashed in my mind. I stopped midstride and shook my head, as if that could make the image go away.

Eliza thanked me, when I handed her the cup and took a careful sip of the hot tea.  
"How are you feeling? Can you tell me what happened?"  
"I... you do know that homeless guy who lives in the back street, right?" she took another sip.  
Now I was paling. "Yes, sure." I slowly said.  
"Mia and I have been taking turns bringing him food from the diner... and... and... it was my turn today." she took a tissue and hugged herself under the blanket.  
Oh fuck!  
"And he... he... someone killed him!" tears started streaming down her face. "I have to tell the police!"  
Oh fuck! "I'll do it for you." I offered, probably a bit too quick. "You just stay here and drink your tea, I'll call the police. Don't worry." I stammered trying to remain calm.  
My heart was racing and my brain was screaming. How would I get myself out of this mess?  
"Thank you so much.” she said, staring into the tea. “This is really good. I’m feeling much better already.”  
I couldn't really appreciate the compliment, but made a brave face for her anyways. I sat with her for a while longer, gently patting her back and trying to console her while inwardly freaking out.  
  
When Roman came in a few minutes later, he shot me a questioning look from the door, as he hung up his coat.  
"She has found a dead homeless guy. The one we brought the blanket the other day." I said, feeling close to tears.  
"Poor thing" he said, trying to sound sympathetic. Then his eyes widened as he put two and two together. Eliza’s face was hidden in her hands and he looked at me over her head, silently asking me one single question.  
I gave him a quick nod and he took a deep breath.  
"I'm so sorry for bothering you Ira, I didn't want to disturb your nice evening together." Eliza said suddenly. She took one more tissue and blew her nose. "I'll leave the two of you alone."  
"Oh you're not bothering us at all. I mean...” I trailed off.  
"I just... I just... I knew you were living close by and I needed to see a sympathetic face. But I'm okay now. I…  I'll just go home. You'll call the police, yes?" She slowly got up from her chair and looked at me pleadingly.  
"Yes, I will." I promised her. "Do you want us to walk you home?" I asked, praying she'd say no.  
"No, I'll make it. Thank you Ira." she hugged me on her way to the door and then she was gone.  
I locked the door behind her and leaned against the glass.  
"Fuck!" I said, as I slowly let myself glide down to the floor.  
When my ass hit the ground, another image of a dead Eliza flashed in my head. What the fuck was wrong with me?  
"Come on." Roman said and pulled me up, not noticing my inner turmoil. A spark travelled between us at our first touch and he exhaled, wriggling his ankle front and back. “Much better. Thank you.”  
I leaned my forehead against his chest, exhaling as well. The moment was short lived though, as Roman took both our coats from the rack and held mine out to me.  
“What’s that for?” I asked, looking up at him.  
"We’ll have to get rid of the body." he kissed me on the forehead. "And after we're done, I want to rest against your bosom."  
I half laughed as I dutifully pulled on my coat. "You make this seem like this isn't the first time getting rid of a body." I said, as I followed him outside and locked up.  
"Yea, because it isn’t." he said courtly.  
“I wasn’t sure if you were serious about that.”  
“I most definitely was.”  
I asked him about the other times, but he refused to tell. One didn’t talk about his past crimes, he explained. Made sense… kinda, but it also made me wonder what other crimes he was hiding from me.  
  
"So how are we gonna do this?" I asked when we came close to the scene of my crime.  
"Cloaking spell." he said and stepped closer to the body.  
There was barely and blood visible and only a single set of human footprints led towards the body and away again. A styrofoam box with food lay on the ground, probably left by the terrified Eliza.  
Small pawprints by the hundreds were decorating the snow all around the body and now Roman's and my tracks were there as well. I didn’t to worry about leaving footprints though. Snowflakes were slowly starting to fall again and every trace of us being here would be covered under a fresh blanket of snow by morning.  
Roman quickly got back up, murmured a few words and made a gesture above the body and suddenly it was gone. Just like that.  
Well, it wasn't really gone. I saw the magic he had worked, blue, and I knew a cloaking spell when I saw one. My brain wanted very much to not see anything, much like with my Amulet, but since I knew there was something there, I kinda saw it.  
"Are we just gonna leave it… him here?" I whispered, when Roman turned back around.  
"Yea... let those buggers take care of it..." he pointed to the pawprints on the ground and only then did I see there were a few bigger ones as well. "Come on, let's go home."  
"How can you be so calm about this?" I whispered as he took my hand.  
"You're beating yourself up so bad, I figured I'd be calm for the both of us." he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.  
“Well of course I’m beating myself up. I’ll go to hell… and I didn’t like it there one bit.”  
“Umm… now you make this sound like you were in hell before.” he looked down at me with one raised eyebrow.  
“Yea, because I was… I told you… didn’t I?”  
“No, I think I’d remember you having been to hell. I mean…”  
I laughed. “Well sorry… I didn’t think much about it… it just kinda happened.”  
“You can’t drop a bomb like that on me and then not tell me all about it.”  
“I… the dude who did this…” I wiggled the stump of my pinky finger at him, “he took me there… for some… well… we fucked.” I laughed awkwardly.  
“You fucked a demon? How could you not tell me? Which one?” he seemed excited.  
“His name is Crowley. He’s the King of Hell actually… one more reason why I really shouldn’t go back there, now that I think of it… we didn’t end things in a very nice manner.”  
I was kinda surprised how calm I could talk about my short but painful affair with Crowley.  
Roman stopped. “So you fucked the King of Hell and didn’t think to tell me?”  
I stopped as well. “Is it important?”  
“Well… with me worshipping the God of Evil and all… It kinda is.”  
“You know I’ve always been into bad boys. This can’t come as much of a surprise to you.” I chuckled, trying to pull him after me. “Come on, its cold, I wanna get inside already.”  
He didn’t move. “So that’s all I am to you? A bad boy?”  
“Not A bad boy. THE bad boy to end all bad boys. Thats much better, isn't it?” I stopped and got up on tiptoes to kiss him.  
He smiled. “Yea, in a weird and messed up way it is…” he slapped my ass and finally followed me.

“Was he… good?” he asked after walking in silence for a minute.  
“Umm… not really.” I laughed, thinking back on it. “He was kind of an asshole, only thinking about himself and his own pleasure… exactly the way you’d expect the King of Hell to be. You’re much better than him.”  
Again he stopped and pulled me close. I placed a small kiss on his cheek and let my hand glide over his hair and neck.  
“Hmm… that’s nice” he murmured. We were only about five minutes from home, but suddenly I wasn’t sure if we’d make it. I was so glad to have him in my life… I needed him right now.  
He kissed me with icy cold lips and I responded eagerly. We moved backwards until my back hit a wall and he pressed himself against me. We looked into each other’s eyes. In the weak light of the feylanterns, his irises were almost black and I lost myself in his gaze. I hated that there were like a million layers of fabric between us. It kept me way too far away from him. I whimpered when he put his hands behind my head and pulled me in for another kiss.  
“We should really go home if we want to continue this. I don’t want to risk you freezing something off.” I let my gaze travel downwards.  
“Yea… but I don’t think I’ll be able to wait that long.” he said and I felt his hot breath on my skin.  
He picked me up with his hands on my ass and my legs wrapped around his waist almost of their own accord. He was so ready for me. Feeling him pressed against me, I tried and failed to hold back another soft whimper. I needed him so badly. He moved us away from the wall and took a few steps, carrying me.  
“I…” he staggered, “sorry I don’t think I can carry you.”  
I laughed, as I put my feet back on the ground.  
“Don’t laugh at me.” he sounded ashamed.  
“I’m sorry…” I lied, barely managing to keep the laughter from my voice. “Come on, let’s hurry.” I took his hand and pulled him after me as we rushed home.

We made it into the back room before we both lost the tiny bit of control we’d had. We fucked against the wall, with our pants hanging around our ankles… and then we went upstairs to the bedroom and made slow, passionate love... and then Roman finally got to do what he had looked forward to all day long: fall asleep with his head resting against my bosom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is probably not how real people would act... but this is fanfic and it was more fun to write it like that than the "realistic" way, so.... sorry, not sorry! :P


	8. Solstice Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Solstice Day. Time for celebration. Not for Ira though.

Roman’s eager hands on my body roused me from sleep in the middle of the night. He was caressing my hips and slowly let his fingers travell upwards, pushing up my shirt as he went. He pressed himself against my ass as his greedy hands found my breasts.   
His soft lips caressed my neck and he let his fingers dance around my nipple for a second. His touches were perfect, until he cupped my breast a bit too hard.  
“Oww…” I hissed between gritted teeth.   
“Sorry.” he whispered, his breath playing along the sensitive skin of my neck.   
He continued his caresses and I tried to enjoy, but certain parts of my body would have none of it. A cramp low in my belly made me cringe. I moaned and squeezed my eyes shut to wait for it to pass. What use were those new healing powers when they still didn’t keep me from feeling like that?  
Roman, misinterpreting my moan, let his searching hand glide into the waistband of my panties. I felt his hardness pressed against me from behind, but today, it did nothing for me.  
“Sorry… but no. Not today… and probably not the next few days either.” I whispered, scooting away from him.   
“But…” He protested and held on to my hip.   
“I’m in pain. Let me go.” I lifted his hand and freed myself from his grip.  
He sighed and I felt him roll onto his back, while I pulled my knees up as far as they would go, which wasn’t very far because I was so bloated, to make the cramps slightly more bearable. Ugh.   
When the bed and blanket started bobbing rhythmically, I half turned around to him.  
“Are you serious?” I hissed.  
“Would be a shame to waste such a boner now, wouldn’t it?” he didn’t stop moving his hand as he talked, just slowed down a bit.   
I sighed and moved away from him a bit farther to give him enough space. If he wanted to jack off, I was all for it, as long as it meant he didn’t touch me.   
Falling back asleep while the matress was bobbing up and down was not an option, so I waited patiently till he was done, which was precariously quick, then turned back towards him, placing my hand on his arm, but not touching more of him.   
  
When I woke up again, it was slightly less dark, but not much, which wasn’t so much because it was still early, but more because it was the 21st of December. Solstice; Longest night and shortest day of the year. I turned around in bed and tried to fall back asleep. I wanted to dream about summer and warmth and not having to wear 5 layers of clothes whenever I went outside. I was sick and tired of the cold.   
I pulled the blanket up to my nose and snuggled into the covers again.  
“Are you awake?” Roman whispered from somewhere close to my face.  
“No” I said and pulled the blanket up even farther.   
“Something tells me you are though! Call it intuition.” he whispered and I felt the blanket lift a bit.   
“Leave me be! I refuse to wake up today.” I blindly searched for his face with my hand and pushed him away.   
“But it’s Solstice Day! Come on, get up!”  
I felt the bed move and when he talked again, his voice came from farther away.   
“Yea, which is the reason why I refuse to get up. You can make a fire though and fetch me Boy and Kali. We’re gonna have a bed day today.” I said, pulling my blanket down just enough so I could see him.   
“I will make you the fire if you meet me at the Diner in the evening. We have to celebrate!”  
“Yea, whatever… just make it warm already.” He didn’t need to know I’d been planning to go to the Diner anyways. Mia had told me they’d have a little party to celebrate the days getting longer again. I’d promised myself I’d stay in bed until it was time to go there and then get drunk as fast as possible.   
The fact that I still had bad cramps and felt the urge to cry despite just having woken up was just one more reason for me to stay in bed.  
I heard Roman stir the fire outside and let out a contented sigh when one of the cats jumped onto the bed.   
“Come here.” I whispered, lifting the covers a bit. Boy immediately climbed under the blanket with me and started purring.   
“You never seem this happy when I cuddle up to you.” Roman said, having returned to the bedroom. He was in his T-shirt and Jeans, not yet ready to leave.  
“Yea, because you aren’t as cute.”   
“Oww that stung… makes me almost want to pour this down the drain.” he said, indicating a cup in his hand.   
“What…. what is it?” I lifted up on my elbows to see what he was referring to.   
“Wouldn’t you like to know!” he said, sitting down on my side of the bed. He held the cup he’d been carrying just outside my reach.   
“Did you…. make me cocoa?” I asked, gently patting his arm, trying to reach the cup.   
“Maybe. But if I’d known I’m not the number one cute man in your life, I’d have saved myself the trouble.”  
“I’m sorry! You might not be the cutest, but you’re most definitely the hottest!” I tried getting back in his good graces.   
“Oh please! I’ve seen your neighbors. They are so hot, they make me wonder about my sexuality sometimes.” he chuckled goodnaturedly and finally handed me the cup.   
I sat up in bed and greedily took the drink.   
“Did you put extra rum in there?” I grinned, sniffing it. I was so glad he knew the workaround to my mood swings.   
“Yea, just like I know you like it.” he mirrored my grin.   
“Do you really have to leave just yet? I could get used to being served hot drinks in bed by my semi-good looking boyfriend.”   
“Semi-good looking? Boyfriend?” he snorted.   
“Yea... or what would you say?”   
“Umm… I’ll take the semi-good looking, but most definitely not the boyfriend part.“  
“What else are we then, if not boyfriend and girlfriend?”   
“I dunno… star-crossed lovers? Friends with benefits?”  
“Why don’t you wanna be my boyfriend though?” I asked, getting serious for a moment.   
“I was your boyfriend once, remember? Being cheated on doesn’t feel good. Ask Sam. Ask any of your exes. You kinda have a history.” he looked at me condescendingly, both eyebrows raised.   
Okay, he kinda had a point there.   
“Are you even allowed to have a girlfriend? I mean… with being a Volvh and all?” I tried to divert attention from myself.  
He laughed. “What kind of a question is that? Of course I can. We aren’t Christians! We all love sex and women. The more the better, actually.”   
“Umm… didn’t feel like that to me, with the Inner Sanctum thing and all.”  
“Loving women doesn’t mean we respect them, or see them as equals even.” he laughed again.   
“Wow… nice. Okay then, be off semi-good looking non-boyfriend. Have fun and be merry. I’ll see you in the evening.” I waved him off, wanting to be mad, but found I couldn’t. “Hey Roman?” I shouted after him, when he was already in the kitchen.  
He turned and walked back towards the bedroom. “Hmm?” He looked down on himself, as he was buttoning the topmost buttons on his robe.   
“Umm… about that loving sex and women thing… umm… will you … will you indulge in that today?”   
He laughed, not looking up from his buttons, “Probably.”  
“Could you… umm… maybe not?” I whispered.   
“And why would I do that?” he asked, finally looking at me, with one raised eyebrow.   
“I dunno…” I hated having this conversation. “… maybe just because I asked you to?”  
“My my my, aren’t you a jealous one. I didn’t think I’d see the day.” he walked back to the bed and sat down next to me-  
“I’m not jealous, I’m just… protective. I don’t want you to get your heart broken. Do you know how many love potions I sold this week? People go crazy on Solstice Day.” He didn’t need to know I had sold exactly one potion, did he?  
“So you want to protect my heart, not my dick.”  
“That too, of course!” I carefully let my hand glide into his.  
“Alright. I wont fuck anyone today if you wont either, how about this? Let’s make this a deal, okay? Just for one day.” he squeezed my hand.  
“Okay! Just for one day.” I murmured, my heart beating faster. “And then maybe we can make the deal again tomorrow.” I shot him a toothy grin.   
“Let’s just think about today today.” he winked and pressed a kiss on my forehead that made my heart skip a beat before getting up. “See you in the evening, my jealous one.” he chuckled and left.   


I buried myself in the covers again, grabbed my book from the nightstand and sipped hot cocoa.   
I was already starting to feel a bit tipsy. Nice.   
Boy’s work as a space heater under the blanket even made my cramps a bit more bearable.   
I managed to get through the day with only having to get up like 3 times, for going to the toilet, putting more wood in the fire and getting more hot cocoa.   
It didn’t really get properly light outside all day long, but when the short day started turning into night again, I knew I had to get up and get dressed for Mia’s party.   
I chose one of the few dresses I owned. Blue, short sleeved, with buttons on the front and belted around the waist. The color perfectly complimented my skin tone. The buttons on the front wouldn’t close up all the way, so I left them open. Being bloated had its good sides too. My cleavage looked amazing. Knowing I looked good made me feel a bit less like crying.  
  
I heard the noise from the Diner even before I entered it. Magic was up, so there was no music, but someone was singing… or bawling seemed the better word for it.   
People of all ages and backgrounds got together to get sloppy drunk on 21st of December and 21st of June, both Solstice Days. It was a nice tradition.

The Diner was stuffed with people. Every booth was full and all the barstools were taken. The group of singers was on a much too small table right next to the entrance. A few of them were sitting, but most were standing, half leaning on their friends’ chairs. I tipsily made my way past them to the Counter where Mia was running up and down, struggling to keep all the customers satisfied.   
“Ira! I’m so glad you’re here! Eliza hasn’t shown up and I really really need some help! Take this to table 3 and this to table 5” she said and handed me two plates while she herself kept refilling glasses of beer.  
I blinked at her, but didn’t dare refuse her orders. To say she seemed stressed would be the understatement of the year.   
I quickly brought the plates to the indicated tables and went behind the counter to pull off my jacket and scarf.   
“What’s happened to Eliza?” I asked.   
“I don’t know. Here, take this to Table 3 as well. Those buggers keep drinking like crazy.” She handed me a tray with drinks and pushed me out again.   
I placed the drinks on the table and the customers bombarded me with new orders, which I tried to remember, but probably wouldn’t. Immediately falling into waitress mode, I took back a few empty plates from the tables I passed and carried them in the kitchen.   
It must have had 200 degrees in there. Cook was standing over the oven, seeming to stir three pans at once. There were a million dirty plates and glasses in the sink with the dishwasher out of commission during magic.   
I wondered if I should do something about the dishes, but quickly decided Cook would probably kick me out of the kitchen if I didn’t leave on my own. He shot daggers at me with his glances as it was.   
“Here, bring that to table 1.” Mia said, as soon as I was through the swing doors again. “I can’t take that creep anymore.”  
There was only one beer on the tray she handed me and I walked it to table 1, where the curly haired guy sat. He was becoming a regular at the diner those last few weeks. Looking at him hurt my mage sight. Couldn’t he get a grip on himself? Fucking showoff.  
As I placed the drink in front of him, he looked me up and down. Not in a sexual way, but more like one would look at a piece of tasty cake, anticipation somehow lighting up his eyes.   
What the fuck? Each time I saw him, I liked him less and less. He was scary.

  
I kept on serving tables and taking orders with Mia until most of the customers were satisfied. Food orders were getting rarer and drink orders overtook most of our attention.   
I heard a plate or two shatter in the kitchen, but since Cook had decided he hated me, I didn’t dare go check on him. Mia didn’t check on him either. “He’s been in a mood all day.” she explained.  
When we had a second to breathe, I poured myself a beer to finally start working on getting drunk in earnest.  
“You’re looking cute today.” Mia looked me up and down appreciatively. “That’s gonna make us some good tips.”   
“Tips? Oh! Yes! Nice!” Sometimes I forgot there were people who weren’t Mia’s friends and actually had to pay for their food. I laughed, taking a big sip of my beer.   
She took the glass from me and downed it in one swig. “I haven’t had a second to spare all day long. Eliza is such a bitch! She was always talking of running off to somewhere, but she could have said something instead of just leaving me here all alone.”   
“What a shitty thing to do! And on Solstice especially!” I agreed with Mia.  
“Right?” she said, then walked off to a new customer who had just come in. I hadn’t seen him, as I was standing with my back to the customers – rookie mistake Mia explained to me later that night.   
“That guy who just came in ordered a beer, but he told me to send you, because he thinks you’re cute.” she said, already drawing beer.   
I looked at the new guy. He was sitting with his back towards us and was wearing a hood. Creepy much?   
“Come on, go! Think about the tips!” she said and pushed me towards him with my serving tray.   
I stumbled towards him and placed his drink on the table. He grabbed my wrist without looking up. What the fuck?   
“Umm… can you let go of me, please? My big, strong boyfriend wouldn’t like you touching me.” he let go of my hand and slapped my ass instead, before looking up at me.   
I managed to stop myself from slapping Roman just in time. “You could have said you were here, like a normal person, you know?” I scolded, as he pulled me down on his lap.   
“Yea, but where would the fun in that be?” he laughed and placed a kiss on my mouth. “Big, strong boyfriend, huh? I like that!”  
I leaned against him for a second, when a shout from Mia shattered our moment. “Ira! No time for a smooch! You got work to do!”

A bunch of people had just come inside and given their orders, another group wanted to pay and someone on a third table had spilled their drink in their drunk stupor.   
“I didn’t know you worked here.” Roman said, as I got up from his lap.   
“Yea, me neither…” I chuckled. “See you later!” I blew him a kiss as I walked off again.   


An hour later, the crowd slowly started thinning and we had some time for a break again. Roman was on his third beer and seemed in a damn good mood. Dean had joined him a while ago and they were talking about god knew what. Men stuff ™ probably.  
I had downed some more beer, but was much too sober for my liking. Mia looked at the guys longingly.   
“I wish I could get drunk too.” she sighed.   
“You can. There’s not as many people here anymore.”  
“No… shapeshifter metabolism. All I get is a slight buzz for about 30 seconds. It’s so unfair!” She downed another beer in one swig and I patted her lower arm sympathetically, wishing very much she’d be able to sit down and get drunk with us.   
“Blessed alcohol” she whispered and leaned her head against my shoulder.   
I laughed and held on to Mia for a bit longer, before she walked to wait on table 3 where a bunch of young guys sat. They probably weren’t even of legal age yet, but on Solstice Day, no one really cared and they tipped well, so she served them another round of shots and took one herself as well.   
“Would you look at our men sitting there? Don’t they look so nice together?” she asked drunkenly, placing her hand on my forearm. “We’ll make such a beautiful family at one point.”  
“A family? The four of us?” I laughed and put my hand on top of hers.   
“Yes! Don’t you see?” her words were a bit slurred, but I guessed Lyc V would probably make short work of the alcohol in her system in a second. “And we’ll have beautiful kids! They’ll have Dean’s eyes and my hair and your nose… and Roman’s quirky sense of humor.” she continued on and leaned against me again.   
“Umm… I don’t think that’s how having kids works, but whatever makes you happy.” I laughed.  
“I’m so glad to have you as a friend!“ she sighed and hugged me.   
“Me too, me too.” What had she said? 30 seconds? It seemed to me like more than 30 seconds had passed since she had taken that last shot.  
Dean suddenly tapped me on the shoulder. “May I cut in?” he asked. He seemed a bit unsteady on his feet.  
“Yea, take her off of me! I can see Roman shooting me jealous glances already.” I laughed. Mia didn’t seem to care who she hugged and moved on to hang around Dean’s neck.   
I walked to sit with Roman, giving Mia and Dean some space.   
“Sorry for being so bitchy this morning.” I said as I slid into the booth with him, rubbing my thigh against his.  
“’s okay. You gettin’ all bitchy means I haven’ knocked you up. Gives it a positive spin, dun it?” he slurred.  
I rolled my eyes. “Yea, whatever you like to tell yourself.”  
Mia and Dean sat down opposite us again. “Umm… was I just acting really drunk?” Mia asked as she slid into the booth.  
“Yea, felt like it. I like drunk Mia. She’s fun.”   
“I think…” she took my hand over the table. Her cheeks reddened and her eyes became all shiny. “Touchin’ you makes me all tipsy.” she giggled.   
“Really?” I pulled my hand away and she seemed to sober up in a second.   
I looked at Roman, questions written all over my face. “Can I make people drunk?”   
“Can’t you tell I’m drunk on your beauty all the time?” he put his arm around me again and kissed my cheek.   
“No but really!”   
“Possible… I… you… Lyc-V is a virus… you heal people.” he shrugged, the corners of his mouth pulled downwards. “Does it matter?”   
Mia had been slowly sneaking her hand over the table to grab my fingers again.  
“Kinda… because I’ve been feeling way too sober all day long.” I grabbed her hand and she shot me a smile, as her eyes glazed over again.  
Roman snorted. “Your powers prob… probly... “ he stumbled over the word a few times before giving up, “they treat al’ohol as a poison and wan’ to protect you!” He broke out laughing. “Wouldn’ that be fun?”  
“Seriously?” I pulled away to stare him in the face.   
“Who knows?” he shrugged again. “Ev’rythin’s possible.”   
“Well, that’s just fucking great.” I blew out some air through my nose and got up to serve the new customer that had just come in and sat down at the counter. Mia was drunk beyond caring for the moment.   
“No! Don’t take the fun away!” she shouted after me and tried to hold on to my hand.

 

The new guy had short cropped salt and pepper hair with an almost bald spot at the back of his head and wore a perfectly tailored black suit.  
I froze, when I realized who he was.   
“Hello darling.” Crowley said in his posh, british accent.   
“What do you want?” I asked, refusing to move.   
“How about some whiskey.”   
“We don’t serve whiskey here.” I crossed my arms under my breasts.   
“Then what is that bottle behind you, dear?” he pointed somewhere to my left and I turned. “That’s a very nice dress you’re wearing.” he said, ogling my cleavage.   
“Thanks… but your flirting won’t get you any whiskey.”   
“Well then…” he got up and slowly walked to my side of the counter, never letting me out of his gaze. Ghoosebumps travelled up and down my arms and neck.  
Slowly, he took a tumbler from one of the shelves and uncorked the bottle of whiskey. I didn’t turn to look at him, but kept facing the other customers instead. Being this close to him brought back all kinds of memories… mostly bad and painful ones. “Do you have any ice, dear?” he suddenly asked, from right behind me. He was so close, I felt the heat of his body on my skin. He didn’t seem to be bothered by our closeness at all.  
“No.” I said. “Why are you here?”   
“Can’t a demon come see his former lover just for the sake of it?”  
“No. Why. the fuck. are you here?” I repeated, slower this time.   
He sighed and walked back around the counter to sit down again. “I wanted to congratulate you.” he sat down on the same stool as before, with his glass in hand.   
“Congratulate me? To my new job or what?” I frowned at him.   
“To your second murder.” he didn’t even bother lowering his voice.   
“What?”

“That waitress… what was her name? Eliza?”   
“What are you talking about?” I shook my head, not understanding a thing he said.  
“Giving her the Devil’s Ivy syrup instead of honey… Poison is such a beautiful way to kill… and so much more elegant than slitting someone’s throat.”   
“Will you keep your voice down a bit?” I shushed him, looking around nervously. What was he talking about, with the syrup and Eliza?  
“Don’t bother. Those people are beyond caring.” he chuckled, half turning around so he could look at the other patrons. When he looked back at me, his face changed, the smug grin almost washed away. “You look pale, puppet. Are you quite alright?”  
“I…. “ I looked around, making sure no one was watching us. “I… I didn’t kill her!” I said, but now that I was thinking about it, I wasn’t really sure anymore what I had put into her tea. “Or did I?” I asked, my fingers trying to dig into the surface of the counter. My heart seemed to have moved upwards into my throat and it was hard to breathe around it.   
“Of course you did, darling!” he chuckled. “The amount of poison you gave her would have killed a horse.”   
I swallowed nervously, like that could bring my heart back down to where it belonged.   
An image of Eliza drinking tea flashed before my mind.   
The sounds around me became all fuzzy and I had to hold on to the counter for balance. The image of myself making tea for Eliza, pouring the water, stirring in… something, played in my head like a video. What had I put into the tea? Honey? Devil’s Ivy? I couldn’t remember. It kept replaying inside my head over and over, but still, I couldn’t remember. Fuck.   
Yellowish goo, dripping from a spoon into steaming tea. What had I used? I wouldn’t have used the syrup. Or had I? My chest was heaving and sinking with much too shallow breaths and I felt like I was suffocating.  
“Don’t look so shocked. I knew you had it in you from the first moment I set eyes on you.” Crowley chuckled. “You’re a killer, just like your father!”  
And then he slowly flipped sideways. The whole world flipped sideways. Something hard knocked against my head and then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, this chapter is really all over the place... but it has a lot of fluffy, fun scenes that I enjoyed writing..


	9. Purification.... all for naught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ira makes a decision. Roman doesn't give a crap.   
> Blood and another murder

I couldn’t have been out for long. Mia’s worried face was right over me when I opened my eyes again.  
“Hey, are you okay?” she asked.  
I groaned in reply. The right side of my head hurt like crazy, but I was feeling okay otherwise. Crowley was gone, of course. He had delivered his message.  
I slowly sat up, pressing my hand against my forehead. Magic had fallen. The electric lights hurt my eyes.  
“Careful.” Mia said. “You got quite a goose egg there.”  
“Yea, I hit something when I fell… When did Magic fall?”  
“About the same time as you…” she whispered, having to hold back a laugh.  
I rolled my eyes – painful mistake. “That was a bad one. Help me up please?”  
“Are you sure you can stand? What happened?”  
“I dunno… probably just low blood sugar or something… I haven’t had any solid food all day…” I lied.  
Mia gave me a wary look before she held out her hand and pulled me up.  
By now, even Roman and Dean had noticed my disappearing act behind the counter and had slowly made their way towards us.  
“Yes, yes, I’m alright.” I murmured, before they could ask. “I’ll just go home and get to sleep.”  
“Wait!” Mia said and went into the kitchen.  
I leaned against the counter, wishing I had some ice for my head. Roman moved towards me. “Are you really alright?” he said, crouching down so we were on eyelevel.  
“Yea, don’t worry…” I said. I couldn’t tell him I had killed another person, at least not here.  
Thinking about that made me feel all nauseous. Fuck. What had I gotten myself into? I wanted to cry.  
Mia reemerged out of the kitchen with a plate full of minipies. “Here, eat!” she said and placed them next to me.  
I really didn’t feel like eating, but gingerly took one of the pies.  
Roman and Dean each took one as well and greedily chomped down on the food, while I broke off a small piece of mine and put it into my mouth.  
It probably tasted good, they always had great pies at the Diner, but I didn’t taste anything and had to force myself to swallow. Mia was watching me warily. The guys, thankfully, were too drunk to notice anything odd about my behavior. They were on their second minipie each.  
“Sorry, I can’t eat just now… I’ll just walk home and go to bed.” I murmured, placing my almost untouched pie back onto the plate.  
“Are you sure you’re okay? Did that guy say anything to you?”  
“What? No, he didn’t. I’m okay, don’t worry… I just need some sleep… “ Quickly I went to get my jacket and wrapped myself up, before the others could protest anymore. I suddenly couldn’t stand being among people any longer. I didn’t deserve being among people, especially the kind that cared about me.  
Absentmindedly I noticed the curly haired creep had left as well. Had he even paid for his drink? Probably not. He seemed like the kind of person who'd skip on a tab.  
Cold air hit me as I opened the door and once more I longed for warm summer nights. Eliza would never again live through one of those, a very helpful voice inside my head offered. Neither would that homeless guy. And all through my fault. I remembered Siennas Prophecy. My father needed my corrupted heart. Crowley had mentioned my father. He obviously knew him. How did he know him? Was my heart corrupted already? Probably. Would my father come to kill me once my heart was corrupted enough for him? Suddenly every shadow looked like a potential assassin. How did they even know about Eliza? Were they still spying on me?  
And then, suddenly the puzzle pieces fitted themselves together inside my head. The mousecoon. It must be the one spying on me, either for Crowley or for my father. Of course they’d know about what was going on in my life if they had a spy.  
My breath sped up, as I hurried through the freezing night, hugging myself, as if that could somehow protect me from my father’s evil plan.  
Once home, I squeezed through the door and quickly locked back up. Suddenly I felt vulnerable without my wards. I really should invest in a security system that would work during tech. Fuck.  
I wished I had taken Roman with me. But drunk as he was, he probably wouldn’t be of much use against an intruder anyways. Maybe Sam was home. I wondered if I should call him but quickly discarded the idea. He’d ask questions. Questions were bad. No, I couldn’t call anyone. I was all alone.  
I probably shouldn’t even tell Roman about this. I didn’t want to pull him into this whole mess any deeper than he already was. Fucking up my own life was bad enough.  
I had been walking upstairs, deep in thought. My face was wet with tears I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying.  
I got the bottle of Rum from the kitchen, sat down on the couch and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. Boy immediately jumped onto my lap and started purring.  
Absentmindedly, I let my fingers glide through his fur.  
I had to break things off with Roman. Being with me brought him in danger as well. Making him stay with me for the sake of my feeling better, wouldn’t be fair to him.  
More tears started flowing, with no possibility to stop them. I took a deep swig from the bottle. This was too much to face sober.

 

I must have fallen asleep at one point. Roman tumbling in, knocking something over and cursing loudly, woke me up. Sleepily I wiped away the drool from my mouth and looked up at him from one half open eye.  
He was dead drunk and stumbling towards me.  
“Wha’ ‘r you doin’?” he slurred, when he noticed me on the sofa.  
“Sleeping.”  
“Looks comfy. I…. I….’ll slee’ with you.” he said and flopped down next to me. I pulled my feet out from under his ass and made space for him.  
He lay down behind me, resting his head on my hip, hugging my legs from behind. The sofa was much too short for the both of us laying like that, but we were both too drunk to care.  
Sending him home now seemed like too much work and would have been mean ontop of it, considering how drunk he was, so I let him rest where he was. I could break things off with him in the morning.

 

Roman banging about in the kitchen woke me again a few hours later. “What are you doing?” I groaned. Couldn't he be silent for once?  
“What does it look like?” he countered, holding out the coffeemaker for me to see.  
“How can you be up so early?” I pulled the blanket over my face.  
“It’s not that early… and I have to be at the temple in an hour…” Despite how drunk he had been yesterday, he seemed none the worse for wear today.  
“Did you drink that all on your own?” he asked, suddenly very close to me.  
I pulled the blanket down to see what he was referring to. He held the empty Rum bottle in front of my face. I made a face, but nodded.  
“Wow! How do you feel  
“Like shit.” I slowly sat up and everything turned in circles for a moment.  
“Yea, no wonder… here, drink!” He put a mug of coffee in front of me.  
“I’d rather die.” I murmured. The thought of having coffee now was enough to make me want to puke. “Roman, listen… “ I started, burying my face in my hands partly because I didn’t want to look at him and partly because all the spinning the room around me did, made me feel dizzy.  
“Oh no this sounds bad… what is it?”  
“I… I think this isn’t going to work out between the two of us.”  
“What? Because of the coffee?”  
“No, because of… everthing.”  
“But you were so enamored with me yesterday!” he turned towards me to face me full on.  
I looked up at him for a moment. “Yea, and today I’m not. I’m sorry.”  
“You can’t be serious.” he said and got up so he could glare down on me.  
“What? Of course I am! Not even I would joke about something like that!” I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging myself.  
“No! I know you. You wouldn’t do this without a reason. What happened yesterday?”  
“Nothing’s happened.” I focused on a spot on the floor instead of looking at him. If I concentrated hard enough, I almost felt like I could stand up.  
He stepped into my line of sight and crouched down in front of me. “Ira.” he pulled my chin up so I’d look him in the face and everything started spinning again. “What happened yesterday? I mean, I was pretty drunk, but even I noticed something was off.”  
“Nothing happened! Stop touching me!” I slapped his hand away angrily. “Just leave!”  
“I refuse to leave until you tell me what’s happened!” Roman said, not moving a single inch.  
“I… just leave me alone!” I got up and tried to walk into the bathroom, wiping teardrops from my face.  
“No.” he grabbed my wrist and held on to it with a dead grip. I hadn’t even made it half of the way to my goal.  
“Roman no! Don’t you understand? Being with me… no! I don’t want to pull you into this mess that my life has become!” I hated myself for crying again. Fucking hormones, Fucking Alcohol!  
“Are you kidding me?” he still held on to my hand and shook his head at me.  
“Do I look like I’m kidding?” I angrily wiped at my eyes with one hand.  
He rolled his eyes. “Come here, you dummy.” He yanked me into his arms and wrapped them around me.  
“What are you doing?” I tried breaking free of him, but he would have none of it. When did he become so strong? Or was it me being weak? Probably that.  
“I won’t leave you after I’ve only just gotten you back. I’m a grown man. You don’t have to protect me.”  
“But…“ I took a deep breath. “Eliza is dead.” I whispered, my voice hoarse from crying.  
“What?” He took me by the shoulders and pushed me away far enough so he could look at my face.  
I blinked a few times to steady myself again, before replying. “I… the Devil’s Ivy syrup… it… it was an accident.”  
“You’re not making any sense. Take a breath and then tell me what happened.”  
“I killed her. It’s only a matter of time until I hurt you or someone else.” I blurted out, wiping my nose on my sleeve.  
“Well, good luck hurting me!” he said boastfully.  
“Might I remind you that you already almost got killed because of me once?” I buried my face in my hands again.  
He hesitated and seemed to think this through for a moment, before replying. “Well, I don’t care.”  
I stared at him wordlessly for a minute, slowly shaking my head. Was he really serious? Could it be, that he actually cared about me that much? My voice was so low when I replied, I wasn’t sure he’d even hear me. “Thank you.”  
“You’re very welcome.” He pulled me close and held me while I cried it all out. The emotions, the pressure, the hormonal craziness, everything.   
And when I could cry no more, he held me in his arms while I told him the whole story. He said nothing for a few minutes and I was almost sure this had been the straw that broke the camels back and that he’d get up and leave me for good at any second, but he didn’t. Instead, he had come up with a plan.   
If my heart was corrupted, we’d just have to purify it again to make myself useless for my father. It kinda made sense. And I had the feeling Roman really wanted to do a purification ritual on me. He asked me to pick him up at the temple around sunset. I asked him if it wasn't a problem I was on my period, but he assured me that this would only be a problem if I wanted to get into the Inner Sanctum, which I wouldn't need to go into for the ritual he had in mind.  
I was too exhausted and hungover to doubt his judgement and just went along with his plan.  


I walked towards the temple, in the last sunrays of the day. It had finally stopped snowing and icicles were forming on roofs and street lamps. It was warmer than the last few days had been and I felt like today was already a bit longer than the day before, which was nice too.  
The black temple stood out starkly against the bright orange sun sinking beyond the horizon right behind it.  
The sky was bright blue and the few clouds that hung low above the city were painted every imaginable shade from orange to purple. It hurt to look at the beauty of it all, so I didn't. I wore big dark sunglasses on my face and pulled my hood down into my face to protect myself from the bright, cold day. My head still hurt, but sometime during the day, the world had stopped spinning and I felt mostly steady on my feet.  
Roman had told me to meet him at the back of the temple, where I found him sitting on a small set of stairs, his staff leaning right next to him.  
"What are you doing?" I asked, stopping right in front of him, so my body threw a shade across his face.   
"Watching the sunset. Come join me." he scooched to the side a bit, to reveal a blanket covering the cold stone.   
I sat down and he immediately pulled me into his arms. The sunset was too bright for me to look at, so I hid my face against his body.  
"Why aren't you hungover?" I asked, my voice muffled by the fabric of his coat.  
"I dunno... I never get hungover... good genes probably." he huffed and pressed a kiss to the top of my head.  
"Unfair." I whispered, but snuggled closer to him anyways, crossing my legs over his.  
He kept on staring at the sky wordlessly, and I buried myself against him. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes. "About this morning..." I finally broke the silence.  
"It's okay..." he murmured, condescendingly petting my head. "Your brain is clouded by hormones. I know not to take you serious when you are like that..." he chuckled and tightened his grip on me, trapping my arms between the two of us.  
I weakly punched him in the chest for his remark, which was quite a feat, considering he'd effectively immobilized me. "Ass."  
He chuckled some more before replying. "Seriously though. It's okay. Things like that... they'd probably fuck up everybody."  
"Thank you." I whispered again and struggled free of his arms, so I could kiss him.

  
We stayed there until the sun had vanished behind the horizon, and then a while longer. With the sun gone, it soon became cold though. “What are we waiting for?” I asked after a while, shivering against him.   
“Magic.” he murmured. “The ritual won’t work as long as Tech is up.”  
Made sense. “I’m getting pretty cold though.”   
“Yea, me too… Let’s walk a bit.” he got up and held out his hand for me.   
“Can you tell me about the ritual?” I asked as I got up.   
“Nah… you’ll see soon enough.” And as if he had known, in that moment, Magic drowned us. I was getting better and better at coping with the effects it had on me, but it still took me a second to readjust.   
"You ok?” Roman asked, still holding my hand.   
“Yea all good.” I nodded. ”Lead the way.” I was eager to get out of the cold and really hoped the mysterious ritual would take place somewhere inside.

 

We didn’t have to walk far until Roman stopped in front of a nondescript dirtyish grey building. It was obviously built post-shift, with walls made from rough stone and small, barred windows. I frowned, reading the sign above the door. “A bathhouse?” I asked, looking at him.   
“Yea, for starters. Come on.” He stepped inside and pulled me after him into a room that felt like we had fallen into a story from 1001 nights. Soft music was playing and the air smelled of spices and warmth. Bright, colorful hanging lanterns illuminated the reception area, where a clerk with caramel skin and a perfectly angular face received us. Her hair was true black and hung over her shoulder in a thick braid, like Jasmine from Aladdin. Roman paid and she led us to a wardrobe and took our jackets. She didn’t speak much, but the few words she uttered were more bellowed than spoken. The way she talked to us didn’t match her exterior at all.   
Roman didn’t seem to mind, but he was the one who already knew what she wanted from him. I received more than one brusk scolding from her, when I wasn’t quick enough to do what she wanted me to do or had trouble understanding her orders.  
“Where are you going?” I asked, when Roman suddenly vanished from my side. The clerk was a bit scary and I didn’t want to be left alone with her.   
“Men and women bathe separately, sorry!” he shot me an apologetic look as I received one more scolding bellow for being too slow to follow our Jasmine.  
I sighed, but hurried up to follow her into a locker room. “Put your clothes here.” she said and pointed to an empty locker. Then she handed me a cotton towel and vanished through a frosted glass door without another word.   
I slowly got undressed and wrapped the towel around myself, like a piece of armor. When two other women, wrapped in fluffy white towels came out through the same door that Jasmine had vanished into, chatting, and casually let their towels fall to the ground, I took a deep breath. Okay, this was officially weird. Public nudity was not exactly my cup of tea, to say it nicely. But I trusted Roman and I needed to purify myself or my father would probably kill me, so I put my clothes into the locker and braced myself before going inside.   
Nothing could have prepared me for the sight before me though.   
Naked women of all shapes and sizes were lounging in the steamy room, some sitting, some reclining on greenish stone benches. Two were getting scrubbed by other women wearing bathing suits. I felt like there were breasts and bushes everywhere. It was… oddly intimate.   
One of the women in bathing suits called me to one of the benches, where a fake waterfall was pouring into a basin. Without a warning, she poured a bowl of cold water over my head, followed by a hot one; then she told me to lay down on one of the warm, wet stone benches.  
My now wet towel was clinging to my body and all was good. The hot, steamy air made my skin feel all soft and I closed my eyes, trying very hard to not think about the past few days or my father or Eliza… or any other of the awful things that had been raining on me for the past few months.

There was no way to tell how much time had passed, when someone barked at me to get up. I didn’t dare object and walked where the woman in the bathing suit pointed me. Seeing the other women being treated had almost prepared me for what was going to happen now... almost... I still startled, when my towel was ripped away from me and I was left standing there all nude.   
Having my whole body scrubbed by a strange woman was an odd sensation. Being lathered in oil by that same woman afterwards was even more odd. None of the other women seemed to harbor the same emotions as I did though. No one looked at anyone else in a funny way, no one seemed to judge anyone for looking the way they looked and everyone seemed so confident and content about their bodies. It felt empowering in a weird, unexpected way.   
It didn’t matter how much anyone weighed or what color they were or if they had big or small boobs or hips. Inside of this steamy room, we were all the same. Once I realized that, I could finally start enjoying the experience and relax in the way this was meant to make me feel.   
And when I exited the bath an indeterminable amount of time later, I felt squeaky clean. My skin was all smooth and my hair fell over my shoulders in soft curls. The scent of the shampoo and all the ointments on my skin clung to me and I felt like I was walking on a cloud.  
Roman was already waiting in the seating area, sipping tea and reading a paperback.  
I sat down next to him and sighed, leaning against him. “If you’d told me purification felt so nice, I’d have done it much sooner.” I placed a kiss on his cheek.   
“I’m sorry to disappoint, but that was only the beginning…” he marked the page of his book by creasing the corner, before snapping it shut and letting it vanish inside the pocket of his robes.   
“Okay? So where to now?” I sat up straight and looked at him.   
“Back to the temple, we’ll have to do this in my room there, since it has to be done on sacred ground.”  
“Nice! I always wanted to see your room.” I suggestively wiggled my eyebrows at him.   
“I’ll have to disappoint you again… we won’t be alone.”.   
“That’s really disappointing now…”   
“I live to disappoint.” he got up and grinned down at me.

  
Once we were both dressed, we walked outside into the cold night again. My body was still heated up enough, so the cold wind didn’t bite through at me immediately.  
“Lets take a shortcut.” Roman said and quickly crossed the street towards a small park. It was dark and overgrown with trees and shrubs. I probably wouldn’t have gone through it alone, but with Roman I felt safe enough. He pulled me against his body, our arms around each others waists.  
“Give me all your money!” a husky voice suddenly said from our right. A scrawny guy in a ripped up jacket appeared out from the shade. He fumbled around in front of our faces with a knife.   
“Boy, you really don’t want to do this.” Roman said, raising his hands in front of him, slowly moving between the mugger and me.   
“Give me your fucking money!” the guy repeated, making a stabbing motion towards Roman with shaky hands. He was probably going through withdrawal as we spoke.  
“Money or your woman dies, fucking hussie!” another voice from behind me suddenly said. Someone grabbed me and I felt a knife being pushed against my throat and a body against my back. The smell of a mouthful of unbrushed, rotten teeth filled my nostrils. My heartbeat sped up a notch.   
“Okay, calm down, let me just…” Roman said and slowly unzipped his jacket.  
“Hurry up or I’ll take your girl too.” The guy behind me urged, pressing himself against me harder. I stiffened in his grip, when an image of himself on the ground in a pool of his own blood flashed before my eyes. Oh no. My heart started racing and I squirmed against the guy.   
“Stop moving or I’ll fucking end you!” he hissed. The foul smell of his breath against my face made me want to gag.   
“Here, take my wallet and let her go.” Roman said and handed his wallet to the first guy.   
“Give me that staff as well!” the junkie said.   
Roman tensed. I knew he wouldn’t give up his staff.   
“Why do you want that? It’s only a piece of wood. It’s useless to you.” Roman tried arguing.   
“It’s Magic! I want it!” the mugger insisted.   
“That’s not how magic works.” Roman slowly said, obviously trying to calm him down.   
“Hurry the fuck up or I’ll kill you, bitch!” the junkie said and from somewhere under his jacket a crossbow appeared in his hand. He unsteadily aimed it at Roman.  
Again, a picture of a scrawny guy writhing on the ground flashed before my eyes.   
I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment to clear my head.   
The noise of the crossbow being fired and a moan from Roman made me open my eyes wide. He was with his back to me, one hand grasping something on his stomach.

Seeing Roman stagger backwards and go down on his knees stopped every sensible thought in my brain. Without a way to stop it, my body overrode all the neural pathways and took over. I stomped onto the knifeman’s foot and half turned around. The knife bit into my skin as I turned, but didn’t register any pain. My hand moved to his face on its own accord and a jolt of Magic pulsed through me.  
The attacker groaned and went down like a log.   
The other dude decided this was too much for him and ran off into the darkness, forgetting all about Roman’s staff.   
I didn’t waste a second glance on the guy on the ground, but hurried to Roman. He was laying on the ground, curled up into himself. He startled, when I kneeled down next to him on the frozen gravel.   
“Shhhh…” I whispered. “It’s all good. I got you!”  
He gripped my hand when he realized it was me touching him, his other hand was on his groin, just above the hip, holding on to the crossbow bolt in his body.

“Fuck this hurts!” he hissed through gritted teeth.  
“It’s okay.” I repeated. I knew I could heal him, I just had to get the bolt out. “I’ll fix you right up.”   
I rolled him onto his back, gently, and inspected the bolt. I had no idea if it was the kind that had flukes or not, but it hardly made any difference. It needed to come out before I could heal him either way. I licked my lips and took a beep breath, before gripping the bolt and pulling it out in one smooth motion.   
Roman’s eyes went wide with pain. Groaning he put his hand back to the wound instinctively. It was bleeding like mad and he’d probably die from bloodloss soon if I didn’t heal him quick. The bolt had obviously been the barbed kind. The part of his flesh I could see through his ripped clothes and bloody fingers was a ragged mass of red.   
I put my hands over his and with a tiny spark of Magic, I fixed him right up.   
He hissed again and for a second I thought I hadn’t done it right, but when I carefully pulled his hands away, the bleeding had stopped and everything that remained was smooth, pink skin.   
“Do you think you can get up?” I asked, eager to get away from here and home behind the safety of my wards.   
Roman groaned in reply, but gripped my shoulder and tried to sit up.   
“Fuck this hurtsssss!” he hissed again, but somehow managed to get into an upright position.   
“Yea, I still need to figure out how to make pain stop as well as lethal wounds.” I held out my hands to help him get to his feet.   
He leaned on me heavily, but somehow we made it home. The purification ritual all but forgotten. It didn’t matter anyways. I had killed again. And third time’s the charm, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I recently went to a Hammam for the first time myself, I thought it'd be fun to put it into my story and see it through Ira's eyes. It's a weirdly relaxing experience and I can only recommend it to everyone.


	10. Grand Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kali kills something, which leads to trouble for Ira...

The next day, I was working in my store, trying to feel some normalcy for once. I had told Sam about the muggers and that I’d killed one of them, figuring since it was self-defense, I couldn’t be charged with anything. Roman’s scar was still clearly visible despite my healing him and we had shown it to Sam. Sam had assured me he’d take care of it.  
Magic was still up and I was just performing a healing on a broken arm, when both my patient and I startled at a sound from outside. Some animals were fighting somewhere. This per-se wasn’t unusual at all. All kinds of creatures lived hidden god knew where in our town, especially on Unicorn. The scream was eerily familiar though and kinda had me worried.   
I quickly took my patient’s money and thanks and ushered her outside, telling her to take it easy for a few days and come back if she needed anything.   
Boy was sleeping on top of the cupboard in the back room. He was save, but Kali was nowhere to be found and didn’t come running when I called for her.   
A lump built in my throat, as I walked outside. The fight was still going on and now I was sure there was definitely a cat screaming somewhere in the mix. “Kali?” I shouted, walking towards the source of the noise. I sent a prayer to whoever would listen, begging them to protect my cat.   
Across the street from Dean’s garage was an abandoned shop with broken windows and door. Most of the glasspanes were missing, making it a perfect hiding spot for the creatures that roamed the night… or day in my case. I kept on praying, as I pushed the door open.   
At first, I saw nothing. My eyes still needed to adjust to the darkness. I heard something crash on the floor and paws trampling on the ground. Something moved in the back room and I carefully wandered in the direction of the noise. And then, suddenly, all was calm. Silence.  
“Kali?” I called again into the now silent room. A soft meow from the darkness was my answer. “What are you doing, kitty?” I asked and walked to the white blur in the darkness.   
She came running towards me and I almost stumbled over her. By now I could make out some shapes and I saw there was something big and dark on the ground. “What did you do?” I asked Kali and picked her up, immediately regretting it. Her fur was wet and she smelled of blood. Her heart was pounding in her chest.  
Holding on to her, I went back outside. I needed some light to find out what she had done.   
I stopped when it was light enough for me to see. Kali’s white fur was covered in red. She seemed mostly unscathed though, except for a piece of her ear that was missing. Some blood was still oozing from the gash, but a quick spark of my magic sealed the wound shut.  
“What did you kill in there?” I asked, hurrying back into my store. “How did you even get outside again?” I murmured, decidedly setting her down on her spot in the window. She immediately started cleaning her matted fur, obviously not giving a shit about my questions. 

Quickly, I grabbed a candle and some matches and made my way back to the other side of the street, after making doubly sure my door was firmly closed.   
In the candlelight, I could make out some more. The building had the exact same layout as my house. It was an odd sensation, seeing what my store would look like if I hadn’t found it. I resisted the urge to go upstairs, but instead walked to the dark heap in the corner of the back room. Dust filled the air and made me sneeze, but the smell of blood remained. My eyes went wide when I realized what I saw before me.   
The mousecoon. It seemed to somehow be stuck between shapes. The back was much too small for the front and its misshapen form seemed half torn apart. The front was all Raccoon, but its throat was more a mass of bloody flesh than anything else. How had Kali managed to kill it? Despite its weird half-form, it was still quite a bit larger than her. Or had she managed to catch it midshift?   
What was I supposed to do with that animal? I really didn’t want it to stay here and start stinking up the whole neighborhood as it rotted away, but I also didn’t want to touch the bloody mess.   
The homeless guy and Roman’s way of dealing with his body came to mind. Looking around made it pretty sure there were critters coming and going as they pleased in this place. Should I just leave it be? It would probably be gone much quicker than a whole human.   
The thought of how many bodies there might be hidden all around town made a cold shiver run up and down my back.   
Yea well, fuck it! I’d let someone else deal with this. I had enough problems as it was. Blowing out the candle, I turned around and walked back home.   
Boy had joined Kali and was helping her clean herself. Good they better clean up this mess or I’d have to put her into the bathtub… and both she and I hated doing that. 

I put the candle away and walked upstairs to get cleaned up as well and check on Roman. He had been exhausted after getting hurt and I hadn’t woken him up that morning. Healing, despite me giving my magic, still seemed to take a lot out of people. I quickly washed my hands and put on a fresh top.  
Roman was still snoring peacefully. I placed a soft kiss on his forehead and went downstairs again. Kali and Boy were sitting on the floor. I rolled my eyes when I saw Kali’s bloody pawprints all over the place. Great.  
I was glad the spy was gone, but I didn’t feel safer at all. With the familiar gone, what would its owner send to me next? I was pretty sure he wouldn’t just give up.   
A wave of anxiety washed over me. I had to look up some battle spells. Potions too. My magic was stronger than it used to be, but still, I was no fighter. Not by far. I made doubly sure my machete was within reach, before getting a wet rag and cleaning up the mess the cats had made. After a second of hesitation, I joined them in cleaning Kali’s back. She didn’t like the bathtub, but a wet rag seemed tolerable.   
The three of us must have made quite a picture for anyone who walked by the store window; Sitting on the floor in a circle, cleaning each other… It gave me something to do with my hands, while my brain was occupied with worrying. Did the owner already know the mousecoon was dead? I had never had a familiar, so I really didn’t know. I should look that up as well. Maybe I should get myself a familiar? Something big and scary, to protect us. Like a bear.  
I looked up, when I felt someone powerful walk past us. It was the curly haired dude from the Diner. He seemed mad about something. Yea, if I’d look like that, I’d be mad too.   
I had to hold back a groan, when I saw him stop in front of my door and tug on my wards. What did he want from me? For a moment, I contemplated not letting him inside, but if he wanted to buy something, I could charge him way over price… and I needed the money! Silently, I opened the wards. He didn’t waste a second and immediately stepped inside.   
“You!” he pointed his finger at me accusingly. His Magic filled the air around us. Okay, not cool.  
Kali and Boy scattered and hid somewhere behind me, as I slowly got up.  
“Good Morning to you too, how can I help you?” I answered in my calmest, friendliest customer service voice. Wow. He hadn’t even taken five full seconds and I was already regretting letting him inside.   
“Your familiar killed my familiar!” he shouted, taking a menacing step towards me. “You will regret this!” His Magic made the hairs on my neck stand on edge.   
“Umm… what?” frowning, I took a step backwards. My machete was right on the counter and I really wanted it in my hand just now.   
“Your puny little kitten… it killed my Raccamouse!”   
So that was what it was called. I filed that information away for later.  
“Kali isn’t my familiar. She’s my pet.” I said the next best thing that came to my mind, forcing the words past the lump that was slowly forming in my throat. The machete was almost within reach.   
“You stupid girl. Of course she is your familiar! How many pets do you know of that can mix up potions?” he shouted at me, spittle flying from his mouth.   
I said nothing, just stared at him as the puzzle pieces started fitting together inside my head. If the Raccamouse was his familiar… and my father’s familiar had been spying on me…   
“Does… does that mean you are my… my father?” I slowly said, letting my hand glide towards my machete on top of the counter.   
“Yes dear, come to daddy…” he said with a fake smile that didn’t reach his eyes, “…so I can kill you! I will make it quick and painless, I promise.”  
I grabbed my machete and helt it in front of me defensively. It occurred to me a bit too late, that it would be pretty useless, with the amount of power he was packing My brain was occupied otherwise, with making a plan to avoid being killed right here and now.   
“I… you can’t kill me! I’m a good person! My heart is of no use to you!” I blurted out.   
He chuckled and took a few steps closer towards me. “Put that knife away, daughter.” he said and without any chance to do anything against it, my hand opened and my machete fell to the floor with a clatter. Good job, Ira. Great.  
Was this really how I’d die? Here, in my store? While Roman was sleeping upstairs? Thinking of him made my vision become blurry with unshed tears.   
“I had a purification ritual done yesterday. You can’t kill me!” I lied.   
“Oh but I saw how you killed that mugger I sent…” he said, crowding me into the corner between the counter and a shelf full of crystals. His hand came up to my face. “And that girl you poisoned. You made it so easy to exchange the honey for poison. And how quick you were to use the book I added to the present from your little boyfriend. I’m so proud of you, my deary.” he tut-tutted and grabbed my chin with his thumb and forefinger.   
Grimacing, I tried turning my face away. So he had been messing with me all along. I pressed myself against the shelf harder, desperately trying to get some distance between the two of us. My hand found a crystal. Magically, they were useless on their own, mostly to be used in complicated rituals, but physically… I grabbed the crystal, rugged edges and all, and smashed it smack in the middle of his face. Once, twice. He staggered backwards and shook his head. His nose was bleeding and his right eye was a gooey mess. My hand hurt and I was pretty sure it wasn’t only his blood that was dropping down on the floor from the crystal. Before I could make it past him though, he found his footing again.   
He didn’t seem to care about bleeding from multiple gashes on his face as he slapped me so hard, I fell over the counter backwards.   
“How dare you?” he shouted.   
A pained whimper was all I could muster in reply. I had hit my head and neck in the fall and for a moment I didn’t feel my legs. If my body wouldn’t constantly heal itself, I’d probably be paralyzed from the neck down, but as it was, feeling came back into my body as he spoke. Feeling and pain. Oww.   
I wanted to just curl up into myself, but doing that would mean certain death. And I didn’t want to die. Not now! I had Friends and Love and a Business. I decided then and there that I wouldn’t die today. No more running away scared, no more crying. I wiped away my tears and sniffed and stood up wobblingly. I wouldn’t put up with this any longer.  
“How dare I?” I shouted, trying, but probably failing, to look menacing; Eyes full of unshed tears and unsteadily holding on to the counter. “How dare YOU! You come into my store and start shouting at me and then you dare attack me? In my own FUCKING HOUSE?”  
He started laughing. Why was he laughing?  
“Now that is more of what I expected from you. Now you remind me of your mother, just before I raped her. She believed she could go back on me on our deal. She believed she was the boss of me…” he interrupted himself with his own laughter. “For about five minutes… until I had her under me, writhing, crying like a little girl, as I spread her legs…” another cackle of mad laughter “… and made you, my dear girl!”   
He paused talking and the smile vanished from his face. “Oh how she cried and raged. I hadn’t expected her to kill herself a few years later. She had so much fight in her. But it seems I broke her on that day. And it inwardly killed her, piece by piece, day by day. All because of you. Because she couldn’t stand looking at you.”   
I stood stockstill, breathing hard. What he said couldn’t be true. Or could it?   
“So you first killed her and now you want to kill me and for what? So you can go on, sitting in Diners all day long, harassing waitresses with your eyes. Nice life, really.”  
“Oh dear sweet child… if only you knew…” Slowly, a grin appeared on his face again and this time it reached his eyes… or eye really. His face was disgusting to look at.   
“Well, tell me then.” I said. “Tell me all your secrets, Dad.” I spat. The word felt odd in my mouth. Wrong.  
“I won’t tell you a thing.” Another shove from him sent me flying backwards and against the wall in the back room. He was about as tall as I was and probably weighed about the same, with none of it muscles. How was he so strong?  
In a few quick steps, he had closed the distance between us and grabbed my chin again.   
He looked down towards my chest and I felt as if my heart was pounding so hard, it was visible through my skin.  
“You will shut up now and I will cut out your heart and eat it while it’s still beating and your healing powers will keep you alive long enough to watch me. What do you think of this plan? Good, isn’t it? Let’s try and make it work!” He was so close to me, tiny drops of spittle hit my face as he spoke.   
I swallowed hard. Being slammed around like a ragdoll did not feel nice. My head was spinning and my back ached. My fingers and toes were prickling still and I hoped there was no permanent damage to my spinal cord.  
Alright, so he knew about my healing powers. Did he know I could do more than heal though? Of course he would. I had killed the mugger he sent with my powers after all. Could I kill him the same way? Could it be that easy? No time like the present to find out.   
He was wearing a button down shirt and the hairy, reddish skin of his chest was showing through the gaps in between the buttons. That made things easier. I really didn’t want to touch him, but if it gave me a chance of survival, I’d manage.   
I jerked my hand up and under his shirt and sent a jolt of my magic into him.   
He let go of me and hissed as if burned by something hot. He stared at me before lifting his shirt to assess the damage, pinning me to the wall with his powers.  
A red print of my hand bloomed on his hairy stomach. Nice work, Ira. Branding your father. Nice. I inwardly scolded myself. Fuck!   
Everything my stunt had earned me, was another slap that sent me flying against a storage shelf. My impact rattled the whole shelf and a few glass-jars and bottles fell and shattered on the floor, spilling liquids and herbs in a puddle.   
A putrid odor rose from the mixture and I had to turn away my face. The puddle was smoking and eating its way into the wooden floor. I’d really have to get the floor tiled or something… went through my head, before my father appeared in my line of vision again.   
Oh yea, I had forgotten about him and trying to kill me in my dazed state. It was kinda ironic how close to the bloody stain from Crowley’s attack I was now. My mind kept wandering off. Not good. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. Focus Ira, Focus!   
Looking up at my father brought me back to the present. Why was I looking upwards? Oh… at one point, my legs seemed to have given out under me.   
Laboriously, I brought them back under me and pushed myself up to standing. My gaze was being pulled back to the smoking puddle on the ground. If I could somehow get that stuff on him; on his face. Hurting him seemed so much more important than actually killing him. Once he was hurt enough, I’d end him, but only then. He deserved the worst, even though right now I couldn’t exactly remember why. I pushed my hand against my forehead and tried to focus.  
“What is it, child? Are you hurt?” he asked, feigning pity.   
“Yea… how proud you must be of yourself…” I murmured. Slowly I stepped away from the wall and towards him. I would not give him the satisfaction of letting him see how much I really hurt.   
“It really is a pity you’ll have to die. With that power of yours, you could do so much good, so much evil… and you don’t even know how to properly use it. I could teach you so much…“ he trailed off. We were so close now, we almost touched. Only now did I realize that he had the exact same eyecolor as me. It was scary to look at from this close. Like looking into my own eyes.   
I felt wobbly on my feet, but he must be in pain as well, with the way his face looked.   
“I’d really rather die than let you teach me… you disgust me!” I spat.   
He shook his head, frustration written all over his face. “Yes, yes, I will kill you soon enough. No need to remind me.” From out of thin air, a knife appeared in his hand. It was black and looked like it was made from stone. To my mage sight, it felt as if it had a power of its own.  
I was breathing hard, looking around the room, trying to find some kind of weapon I could use against him, while still keeping an eye on him. Some kind of potion, anything would do, really.  
When I saw Roman’s feet on the stairs, my knees went weak with relief. He’d know what to do. Together, we could bring my father down. I knew it. I trusted him.  
Roman stopped one step before the creaking stair. My father showed no sign of having heard him. Surprise was on our side. I needed to distract my father, while Roman did a spell, so I did the only thing that seemed logical at this point. I spat in his face. Literally this time.   
“What….” he said, wiping my spittle off his messed up face with his free hand and slapping me again, not as hard as before, but still hard enough to make me stumble to the side a few steps. He was getting weaker. Good.   
Holding my abused cheek, I watched Roman mumble something. Nothing was happening at first, but then my father jerked. It took me a moment to realize what was happening. A black snake was winding around his neck from behind. It wasn’t a very big snake, probably about 5 centimeters in circumference and about as long as I was tall, but it seemed strong. I took a step backwards as my father struggled to get the animal off of him. The snake didn’t seem to care. It wound around his neck a second time and my father’s face took on a blueish tint. The knife fell from his hand, as he went down on his knees. Gathering all the strength I had left, I stepped around him and put my foot on his back, tipped him over from behind. He tried catching himself with his hands, but I stepped between his shoulders and pushed him down all the way. He landed smack in the middle of the smoking puddle on the ground with his face and hands. The glass shards I saw glittering in the middle only made pushing him down more satisfactory. A smile appeared on my face, as he moaned in pain. I felt like I had all the time in the world as I grabbed his knife from the ground and stabbed him in the back. It didn’t penetrate right away, but that didn’t stop me.   
I wound up again, holding the knife with both hands and brought it down. I hit something hard at first, but I pushed some more, adding my weight to it and felt the hard thing, whatever it was, give. Without wasting any time I pulled the knife back out and repeated. Fuck this felt so good. Blood was splattering everywhere, but I was beyond caring. This man underneath me had fucked my life up so bad, for way too long.   
He must have stopped struggling at one point, but I couldn’t tell when that had happened. The snake around his neck let go of him slithered away, but still I didn’t stop. I stabbed and stabbed and then I stabbed a few more times.  
When someone touched me on the shoulder, I startled and remembered there was more to life than stabbing. “Ira… Ira! Stop. He’s dead.” Roman whispered. He was crouching next to me and worry was written all over his face.  
I stared at him for a moment, and my body froze with my hand in the air, my chest heaving and sinking with my heavy breathing, before I let the knife fall to the floor. My hand started shivering and the rest of my body followed suit. I had been kneeling next to my father and now I let myself fall back on my ass and crawled away, leaving bloody handprints on the floor. I couldn’t bear looking at the bloody mess that was his body. Instead, I focused on Roman.  
“Shhhh… it’s okay!” he said, sensing my distress. He slowly moved towards me.  
“We have the same eyes.” I whispered, then buried my face in my hands.   
“It’s okay.” Roman murmured. I heard him come closer and felt him wrap his arms around me. “It’s okay.”

My skin was sticky from dried blood when I pulled my hands away from my face. Roman was still sitting next to me, gently petting my back. The snake lay coiled up by his feet. It seemed to sleep. All was silent.  
“Do you feel better?” he asked. I shook my head, but managed to get to my feet anyways. He stood up as well.   
The snake, woken up by our movement looked at Roman for a moment from cold, dead eyes. It tasted the air with its tongue and looked at the body, then back at Roman as if asking permission for something.   
Roman silently nodded and the snake slithered towards the body, its maw opening impossibly wide. Okay, this was definitely no ordinary snake. No animal should be able to do this. My heart stopped inside my chest, as the not-animal lined itself up with my father’s body and proceeded to eat it. Boots and clothes and all. Just like that.  
It was like a car accident. Awful to look at, yet I couldn’t look away. The whole thing took only about five minutes. The snakes’ body looked huge and misshapen. It had increased ten times in circumference, but was slimming down again as I watched. It stretched itself out to its full length and when it had reached its original circumference, something about it changed. I watched it, but took a few seconds to process what I was seeing. The snake was gone. In its place was Roman’s staff.   
“What… the fuck?” I slowly turned my head to stare at him flabberghasted.   
“It… it feeds on Magic. I thought you wouldn’t mind.” he slowly said, picking the staff up from the ground.  
“You could have mentioned your staff transforms into a snake, you know? Would have been handy to know.”  
“Yea well… now you know.” was his court reply.  
“Anything else you want to tell me? Do your robes transform into bats? Is your hair actually spiders?”   
“Nope… everything else about me is real, I promise.” He kissed me on the top of my head, probably the only spot on me that wasn’t all bloody.  
“Can you start the boiler please? I don’t think I have it in me just now and I could really use a long, hot shower.”


End file.
